sa teda duit mo kawen...

tsk tsk tsk....

i've been doubting to write since forever and then, what the heck... it's my blog anyway and it's for my own reading in the future too.. as a remembrance of how my life had been and how i survive through it all..

now, i'm basically 24 years old of age and this coming 12th July is my 1 year anniversary of working.. yada! and yet, sad thing is i still haven't got suffice saving for myself or maybe none. darn! i dunno what happen to my money.. my earning is ok.. still..

yeap, i have a house to pay.. last year when i just start working, i'm buying a house for my family under my name with my parents.. it's a cool house, a double story corner (which me myself haven't sleep in there yet).. well, every month i need to pay for most of the payment which is rather big for a newbie in the working world.. i'm not taking it as a burden coz i know the condition of my family, our nett income as a whole, so it is ok for me.. i'm the eldest.. so what else can i expect, the ball is on me now..

and the money, yes, most of it are going out.. i really hope i can keep it! still, there are times when i envy people who have saving.. i should learn and do it instantly.. no excuses.. right?! yes, sometimes you know, i do want to spend my money for myself too like the others.. buying stuffs that i've been longing.. a transport for myself to be precise, now.. one year of working and i still haven't got my own transport.. i tumpang people and sometimes i just walk going and coming back from the plant.. i do feel bitter bout it but then i understand the whole situation and take a grasp on whatever beliefs i have to make me strong and just don't bother about it..

every now and then, i believe, if i see this financial thinggy as a problem, it will never end unless other wise i'm looking at it differently and start planning something about it.. right now, it still feels like being in uni. kejap ada duit kejap teda.. kalo teda, makan maggi la geng.. haha..

i always remind myself to not allow this whole things make me feel troubled and i believe i can survive through this.. so stan, you are able lah.. (there you go again, self advice to myself)

and lately i've been listening to a sabahan song by Jimmy Palikat, adui btul2 untuk sa oo skrang.. anak kampung..



so, susah la mo kawen ni kalo duit teda.. haha.. mo cari gf pun jgn mimpi la dulu.. haha..

peeps, bersyukurlah dgn apa yang ko ada sekarang.. if you think life is hard, there are other people living a more difficult life than you, same goes to me..

whatever it is, God will provides and i put my trust in that.

-reminders...

never disappoint those who put their trust in you. if they believe in you, why won't you believe in yourself? stand up tall and go to take over the world! =)

always remember your roots. the very reason why you work all out. in case you forget about it, take a time to think about it and get back to your feelings at that moment and rise up again anew.. =)


You can be big someday! You can be someone someday! it doesn't matter to whom but rather to whom that matters!=)

-progress report.. ahah..

so, it has been more than 1 week i'm here in Langkawi.. first week of working, not so busy, still in the orientation phase, getting to know all the staffs, sections and understand the whole process of cement making.. this week, the production YE ( Young Engineers) will begin our training at each section in the production part beginning with quarry tomorrow..

if u ask me, actually i'm really not into technical work but then i'm a person who have big responsibilities on my shoulder. i need to find a good job with a good pay. still, i begin to like my job gradually. i found it is interesting and challenging at the same time. well, taking care of quarries is a really big task k.. i somehow really looking forward to start my job.. yippi..

this week, i learnt that two of my friends were making some big decision on their life. one is my own best friend who quit his current course in Biology to take up the course that he really likes which is art and design. his parents don't know about this and i believe that it takes a lot of courage and consideration for him to act on his decision. his parents are not really supportive of his dreams to take up arts. another one, is a good friend of mine whom i met during SALT camp. what i know is that he rejected a job offer as financial consultant in a local bank at Sabah. he chose to become a worker in a small-pay welfare center.

from my own perspective both of them are people whom i really adore. they follow their dreams and do what they will be enjoying. nowadays, society have high expectations on the younger generations. sometimes, i think everyone think that you can only success if you got a good job with high salaries that spell BRIGHT FUTURE. the way i see it, these two people are taking command of their own life and really know what they truly want and seize it. i believe they too will become successful people in regards of their field but for me what more important is that they live their life the way they want it and happy of it.

yet, not all have the privileges to make decision on their own life. some need to take into accounts those who relying and depending on them. thus, they need to do what is best for them. especially for the first born. sometimes they need to sacrifice a lot. it's a responsibility that lies on the shoulder since they were born. for me, i don't see this as a burden. to be able to provide the best for someone you love i believe will give you a great satisfaction too.

as far as i am concerned, i like my current job and i believe God will guide me along the way too. and yeah, my motivation is my family as what i told my interviewers last time. i will do well, i'm sure.

so folks, as i told one of my friend before, whatever decision you make, if you put you trust in God on the decision you made, i believe everything will go well.

cheers!

-private emotion...

no one gonna love you, yourself like you do...

and often we forget that..
of course, family and God love you too,
however, if you, yourself not loving yourself enough,
it's waste of their love...

our vocation is to love;
God, one another, family and friends,
and even enemies!
but then, have you ever thought of loving yourself first?

loving the way you look,
loving the way you behave,
loving every gifts and flaws you have,
loving the real you inside and not the one you try to portray...
loving the way when you're happy,
every little moment of your bliss,
loving the way when you're sad or hurting,
every little thing that brings you sorrow,
loving you, yourself more than you can ever imagine...

people may come and go,
some will love you and some will not,
but if you realize that you have your own love,
asides from those who matters,
you'll always be in love...
always...

remind yourself this whenever you feel there's no love for you,

no one gonna love you, yourself like you do...

-scooby scooby doo!

click pic for source

blog hopping just now and found something interesting.. i don't know whether i posted it before but here goes..

Was it possible for a dog to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not.
excerpt from the book of Marley and Me...

i watched the movie last year and not surprisingly i did drop few precious tears.. che.. of course la.. i'm a dog lover bah though for the time being our family don't have any dog yet coz we're still settling down.. will have it in near future..

as i recall back, i remembered myself crying so much when i was small because my puppy got hit by a motorcycle.. when me and my siblings were small, we divided among ourselves each puppy and we named it.. that night, my puppy was the one who got hit.. it's leg was severely injured and the paw's bones were broken into many pieces.. the motorcyclist went away without even bother about the puppy.. typical human.. i cried out so loud as if somebody was dying.. but death was inevitable, few days after that, my puppy died.. huu~

my point is how can an animal, so small and for some, they are considered insignificant can really make a human's heart loving them dearly.. the words above are very true.. dogs, or animals in general, do not see you based on your looks, status or what work you do.. they see you for what you are.. they see you deep inside... and how is that?

remember the first time when you tried to hold a dog or a cat? (the one which not belong to you by birth of course.. ).. they are scared and feel very timid somehow.. they don't accept you easily.. but slowly, when you try to earn their trust, they will accept you too coz they see your determination.. they open up their hearts when you open up yours.. it is as simple as that folks!.. did they ask details about you so that only then they'll accept you.. no! they love you because you are you!do you feel me? (pinjam ayat Fr.Jojo dlu)

alas, if only human are this simple.. i think it is more challenging to have a brain than not having it.. i mean a brain that can think coz animal got brain too kan?.. but then, as mindless as they are, still they show us some of that any person can hardly have.. even i'm also lacking these virtues.. God has a special way to teach us and indirectly communicate to us.. if only we listen more and see things beyond the surface..

Live well people!

::Ad Astra Per Aspera

-into Your hand, i commit again...

its been a while since my last time praying the rosary... my bad i know.. i somehow miss the feelings prayed the rosary with my friends back in matriculation.. why the sudden urge of praying the rosary?

it is Lent season now.. i felt that i didn't observe the importance and the essence of this season much more seriously like the way i should.. and there's a lot of fear and insecurities that been troubling my mind lately.. be it my relationship with God, family, love one and friends.. and society at large.. i'm not the kind of person who like to trouble others with my personal problems and i seldom talk about it to others though i always advise people to share theirs with someone.. shared joy is double the joy and shared sorrow is half the sorrow.. is what i'll say.. and i'll become what i do best.. a listener and giving my few cents worth of thought.. different people, different attitude.. how true is that..

to become someone's burden is the thing i hate the most but then i cannot avoid it.. and i feel sorry for these people especially my family.. me and my complexity issues.. somehow it made me think that these people are better off without me (not family of course).. seeing a half empty glass? maybe... well, i believe that everyone have their own issues and ideology and to make it compatible with the people surrounding is never that easy.. sometimes you have to give in and it will cost you, yourself or you have to stand firm and risk of being alone with your own belief.. either way, the stake is always high...

and one begin to wonder, why its always at times like this that a person will turns to God? but then, is it wrong? who else you can turn to then? for the comfort received by believing that God as our greatest healer is something that anyone must not doubt.. He'll heal the wounded hearts and be their source of strength.. and sorry as i am, for sometimes forgetting Him when its all over.. Sorry..

i'd talked about my insecurities about the future before in my previous post before.. now, the nearer it is for this sem to finish, the more worry i am about what will happen once i go out of this place.. some of my friends already have their own plan and i'm happy for them.. as for me, everything is still not certain yet and with the responsibilities that i have to bear once i become a working adult somehow keep reminding me that i should look out for the best.. and if not? i dare not to think..

whatever it is, its not the end of the world yet (its not yet 2012 bah..ho2).. global warming will still continues on and injustice to the indigenous people will hardly prevails.. life goes on..

emo post? neah.. (denial! denial!)

anyway, be happy and so you will always look younger( ada kaitan, jangan kau..)

and don't forget to pray for those who are affected by the natural disaster so they'll be strengthen in their time of difficulties.. amen..

be blessed dear readers...

-vurnerable

often in life,
people say they are okay when they are not,
they act strong,
yet they are very fragile inside,
they hide the pain,
but pain is all their heart,
in denial they are,
but they have reasons,
sure they have,
a thief would not steal for nothing,
nor do a mom when she scolds her kids,
people are vulnerable,
we all are,
we can be as soft as a cotton candy,
or as hard as the rocky mountains,
and only the heart knows why...

Everywhere I look I see her smile
Her absent-minded eyes
And she has kept me wondering for so long
How this thing could go wrong.

It seems to me that we are both the same
Playing the same game
But as darkness falls this true love falls apart Into a riddle of her heart.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt the one I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Days like these no one should be alone
No heart should hide away
Her touch is gently conquering my mind
There's nothing words can say.

She's coloured all the secrets of my soul
I've whispered all my dreams
But just as nighttime falls this vision falls apart
Into a riddle of her heart, yea.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt someone I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Don't hide your eyes...

:::ROXETTE:::

-i got one paper left and i'm happy about it...

sometimes we think that the world revolves around us,
its like we're the nucleus of our family or our league of friends,
but then,
its not...
the world is still spinning round and round,
and we on the other hand,
have our own cycle of life that keep turning round and round too,
either it will spin slow or fast,
it is beyond our control,
the ups and downs, that's it,
then it will spin again,
so we just have to wait what is in store for us,
but that makes everything great, isn't it?
the non linear life, that will fluctuate every now and then,
its the real life, its good when its not perfect sometimes,
coz we may deem it to be special later,
we may diverge from the right path occasionally,
why?
coz sometimes the things outside the line is so tempting,
that is very hard to resist, irresistible,
but wait, it may be good in a certain way,
we'll experienced more about life,
the rights and wrongs of it,
then, we'll go back to the 'right' path once again,
oh wait! how do we know that the path we're following is right,
maybe there are other paths that might be better, oh yea worse maybe,
but then that's what we called exploration,
Christopher Columbus can't pride himself to be the first man to discover America,
if it wasn't due to the exploration that he and his team made,
so let's become our own explorer,
who will courageously discover the true meaning of life,
our true self,
in our very own perspectives and light...


owh ya, i just let my fingers dancing on this lappy's keyboard... so ya, i'm in the state of where i don't know why i'm writing this and on what basis...

but then, who'll bother right? chow...

-in the spirit of unity, shall we?

Marina, is an excellent student who managed to obtained a good results in her SPM last year (9As 1B, even my results were not as good as her)... she has a mixed blood of Iban (father) and Chinese (mother), and thought that she's a bumiputera all this while... ouh correction, was a bumiputera.. she found out that she's not a bumiputera when her application to go to a matriculation program was rejected by the Ministry of Education simply because err, she's not a bumiputera (but she's an Iban considering the fact that her father is an Iban)

this is according to a definition used by the Student Intake Management Division, Higher Learning Department and Higher Education Ministry.

Their definition is as follows:

• Semenanjung – “Jika salah seorang ibu atau bapa calon adalah seorang Melayu yang beragama Islam/Orang Asli seperti mana yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 160(2) Perlembagaan Persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If either parent of a candidate is a Malay who is a Muslim/Orang Asli as defined in Article 160 (2) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera.)

• Sabah – “Jika bapa calon adalah seorang Melayu yang beragama Islam/Peribumi Sabah seperti yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 161A(6)(a) Perlembagaan Persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If the father of the candidate is a Malay who is a Muslim/native of Sabah as defined by Article 161A(6)(a) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera.)

• Sarawak – “Jika bapa dan ibu adalah seorang Peribumi Sarawak seperti mana yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 161A(6)(b) Perlembagaan persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If the father and mother is a native of Sarawak as defined under Article 161A(6)(b) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera).

to read more of her story, click here!

it's hard to live in the society nowadays,
if your are stupid, life would be hard,
if your are intelligent, doesn't mean life is like a bed of roses for you,
coz in the end of the day,
sometimes, yeap "just sometimes",
its who you are that make the differences,
be it your family background, race or religion,
all these play a big role in determining the path of your life,
sometimes...

if this is 1Malaysia as being shouted here and there,
why is there still differences between us, as in the above definitions,
i know and deeply realize that if it is not because of this the natives/bumiputra (err earthprince?) will surely need a lot of catch up to do,
but how about those nonbumi who really deserves to be given chances,
aren't they Malaysian too, who someday will contribute to the nation economy,
to serve their people, society and country too?
why are they not having the same opportunities as someone who really deserving it?
and the chance for them to give back something to their country once they succeeded?

why everything must be based on race/religion aa?
will it make you having certain kind of special traits based on your race/religion?
coz i believe that its you, yourself that determines the capabilities you have within you..

i'm a Malaysian, a Sarawakian and owh ya a bumiputra too...
but my aspiration might as well the same as those nonbumi,
to be a able to success in my life,
and to serve my fellow men and country....

SAY NO TO RACISM!!!!

-sometimes....

sometimes we have to swallow the bitterness of life to taste its sweetness...
sometimes love is not all about showing it, but rather realizing it is deep inside...
sometimes the littlest act changes people...
sometimes its all about endurance...
sometimes we have to be in the losing side...
sometimes to put other first is the best thing to do...
sometimes its always like that...

sometimes life is like that...

sometimes...

-my secret place

i read a shout out by a friend of mine which stated that he missed to lay on the school's track while watching the stars above.. me too am missing the same thing...

our high school has a track which is located at the back of our dorm (its so near that you can reach there within a few minutes)... its a great place and i believe if it can talk, it will share the stories of all the students who had put their feet on the top of its red, coarse track..

last time during form 5, i was having quite a hard life.. at that time there's so many problems that i faced and being a teenager who still learn on how to cope up with stuffs like that, i sometimes found out problems were hard to solve...

then, there it was, the track that had been a great companion during the lonesome and troubles night...

i always went there in the middle of the night.. it was complete dark with a total silence.. well, not really; sometimes the noise from the dorms can be heard from afar.. but it did felt serene and safe.. and i laid down there, sometimes for hours, just looking at the sky which was blessed with million of stars... and it was beautiful...

i am healed again... beneath the christmas alike tree, everything seems so perfect and reminded me that everything were going to be okay.. and it were..

nowadays, its hard to find a place like that anymore.. a place where you wanna run when the tides are against you.. a place where you can search for miracles within your soul and find the remedies for all the troubles that come.. a place which is comfortable and reminds you, that you are still alive... and should be kicking!!

the track was my secret place, only one people knew about it that time.. and he's my best friend now...

perhaps one day may be i should go back there again, to lay down and to immerse in my own world once again...

----------------------------------------------------------------
Let me take you to
My secret place
High above the earth
Into out of space
Only God knows where
Only God knows how
I will take you there
Somehow
~last day of your life -Glass Pear

-you're so beautiful...

beauty is,
when you are comfort under your own skin,
when you treat your self with respect and pride,
when you are being honest and true,
when you are being the only, none other than yourself...

************************************************************************

i lied if i said i don't like hot or pretty girls, my ideal girl is Adriana Lima,
yes i do like them, sometimes, i'm human and yeap a guy too,
i have eyes for beauty queen, i always believe that,
coz whenever i watched a beauty pageant,
the one i picked would surely be the top 5, the top 3 and yeah sometimes the winner...

but one thing for sure,
the beauty i seek is not beauty just to the face,
its the beauty of the heart,
beauty of the face would be a bonus if she has it,
i remembered having crush to girls who behave differently than others,
in a good way of course,
whose characters portrayed her heart,
either its good or bad,
that's another story,
for me, the basic rule for human is to be yourself and love it,
its just that simple...

beauty is subjective they say,
which is for me very true,
there's none girl in this whole world which everyone agree she's beautiful,
which would make beauty is objective then,
a girl who is pretty to your eyes not necessarily will look pretty to mine,
and the one who you deem not pretty might be pretty to me,
not necessarily, hhmmm,
we can agree on one point, or we can argue about it,
like this post too,
it is written by my perspective,
the things written here may sometimes be biased,
according to how you see it...
its you who decide how you perceive the thing you see!!

alas,
for me,
i ask not for a beauty queen,
or whose talents so great that would become an envy of others,

i just want someone honest,
someone who can show me there's more to her than what i can see,
the one who will make me a better man,
and someone who will become a good mother,
that's all...

****************************************************************************
this morning going to have my driving lesson,
at last...

--silly thoughts....

i want to be naive,
i want to be innocent,
i want to be pure,
i want to be child like,
coz sometimes the world terrifies me,
and i want to see it without actually knowing it...
************************************************************
sometimes the one we hold dear,
we must let go,
and let them walk their paths,
coz we should bear in mind,
they know where they are heading...
************************************************************
you play with love,
it feels so good to be true,
you play with your heart,
sometimes bliss is all you felt,
you play with love,
it hurts and its painful,
you play with your heart,
sometimes misery is what you get...
***********************************************************
pretending of not knowing,
is pretty hard when you actually know it,
the things that one don't want you to know and yet you know,
so how can you pretend of not knowing...
***********************************************************

~and then i laughed, i just laughed,
coz there's thing that i'm hiding~

it amused me when i read today's Borneo Post.. it was regarding the comment made by Dr. Wan Junaidi citing that Sarawak's MP are somehow debate shy.. i found that somehow true considering the polical climate in Sarawak is rather cloudy rather than bright sunny politics.. they ussually like to use the safe card to the utmost.. but when issue like this arises, its only then you can see the MPs being so vocal.. making a fuss that the comment was not correct..again the safe card coz they don't want to the public to think that they are some bunch of lazy MPs who rather shy to discuss about their constituencies problems.. which is probably true in a way.. huhu..

want to find those who are not debate shy.. go to the kampung and find the drinking spot of the comunity surrounding it.. if you ask them, they can give you a long list of Sarawak's problems and what suppose to be done to counter it.. who says drunk people are useless.. in a way they think seriously of issues pertaining to them oh well only when they are drunk.. but then again, they are what people call drunkers.. but how about those MPs ask them what the real issues and discuss them in the state level.. that's why they being voted for after all..

i know not all MPs are useless.. some are good.. but what i've been thinking is that older people always asked us to see the other side of things and accept things critically and constructively.. but then, when it happen to them.. oppss... i dunoo..

my few cents worth of thoughts..
ok la.. enuf politics.. it never end after all..

k chaow.. wanna buy KFC if its still open...

-a break during the battle...

if you are searching for one good movie based on dream, family and love, this movie sums it all.
it is officially one of my favourite movie now.
it's a music drama movie akin to Oliver Twist's tale.
it is of a music prodigy boy who try to find his lost parents by following the music around him.
cheesy as it may seem but i found it very enlightening.
the scripts are great and the music is awesome.

*the following writing might sound eccentric or absurd for some, so proceed if you are willing to read my another piece of lame thoughts*

my life isn't going to be simple, i believe that,
it will be filled with twists and turns that will mature me more,
it's going to be huge, it's going to be something,
for me as far as i'm concerned,
i don't want to live a life that's so straight and pre-determined,
it's a life that full with wonders and surprises that i'm expecting,
if it's true that if we wanna live a life of our dreams,
that we should become the narrator ourselves,
so be it,
i'll be the narrator,
i'll write the story and the scripts,
i'll act on this stage of life the way i wanna to,
i'll follow what my heart says,
i'll follow where my dreams lead me to,
coz i believe that i'm able,
there's more in me than i can imagine,
there's more in you than you could ever thought of,
it just that we need to realize and open ourselves to it,
we can do more than what we do now,
my life is going to be huge,
my life is going to be something,
and i'll make that.

and this is my reminder about the essence of my own life in case i forgot about it one day.

-Ad astra per aspera-

-True colours...

read this lyric first,

You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

-Cyndi Lauper : True Colors-

try to imagine,
isn't it wonderful when one day, you're sad,
you isolate yourself from the world,
and all of sudden someone dedicate you this song.
No. nobody dedicated it to me. huhu.
but it sure will uplift our spirit once we ponder upon the words.

it just that this song's is truly meaningful.
true colours.
i believe that everyone of us is unique in our very own way.
should that we're all the same, won't the world will become mundane then?
inside us there's a trait of characteristics that define of who we truly are.
our very own colours.

sometimes the society i.e the people fail to realize this,
they expect to see we're all will become something that they expect us to be.
sometimes they blame our attitudes which are not at par of their standard.
we have our own qualities. our own virtues.
it would be great if each of us able to see that everyone is difference.

some people are afraid of showing their true natures.
they behave according to the demand of their surrounding.
its for the sake of acceptance of their community.
by being what they are not. is it worth it?
and how long will it last then?

few dare to be different.
but this few are the one who are most contented with their life.
i believe.
should someone accept them, they accept his/her whole being.
and that's the good part of it.
its really a bliss if someone said that they love us for what we are.

i'm still learning to be myself.
i want to colour myself well
and i won't be afraid of showing them.

i like purple. but my stuffs most are black and white. i like them too.

what's your colour then?

-of works and events...

i'm tired.
yeah, i am.

i'm not complaining of course.
i take everything as it is.
even sometimes its damn tiring.
coz i'm used to it.

not asking for appreciation.
nor do i want a recognition.
its a task so do it responsibly,
just wanna share something with dear readers.
if you do interested.

sometimes after an event done,
people tend to forget the driving force behind it,
be it minor or major event,
behind it there's someone or a group who working hard for it,
to make it materialize, to make it real,
and they did.
performance, that's another matter.

they did not ask for anything.
they did their job and that's about it.
but sometimes few words of appreciation do shine the day.
a simple thanks for the day, or a phrase of job well done,
takes away all the tiredness.
better yet a feedback on the performance,
so there will be a room for improvement.

complimenting people should be a healthy culture i guess.
so is criticizing, a positive one of course.

i just want to emphasize that it is good to thanks people.
those aunties who mopped the floor so it looks clean,
those macha who send your orders.
they appreciate it much. they do.

we know it if we're in the working line.
like i was when i was a bellboy and a waiter.

and yeah. i'm tired.
been doing so much and now i wanna chill.

gift to seniors for our FYG today..

-the tragedy of a broken ivory....

during dinner just now at a mamak restaurant outside campus, we watched an interesting movie while eating... i don't know the title.. it's about this white blind man who was in the process of recovering his sight and found out he fall in love with an Indian girl who afraid that he won't accept him when he found how she looks like once he recovered... hah! there you go, a very brief summary.. the thing is he didn't recovered from his plight (the blindness was somehow due to some problems in his brain) and told the girl she is always beautiful (which she is) to him based on her characters...

so what do i found interesting here?~~~(the frog is croaking)

well, should a blind man suddenly regains his sight and he is able to see the world, how would they know which one is ugly and which one is beautiful? they never see a sample of ugliness before.

is it like this?
or is it like this?
it can be the other way round you see for those who don't know which is to be called which... is there some sort of hormone inside us which suddenly please to see something good looking and hence we label them beautiful? or is it something that being taught by people, society; one's environment? and why are we doing so?

it's true that majority of people like good looking stuffs and people.. even myself.. i love something with good features and you know what those features are because its basically the same for all of us.. so, where do we put those so called not-up-to-our-standard-of-good-looking then? why does we tend to become so bias sometimes (and the whole time we're saying we're not)

for sure there are reasons for the existence of everything... i always teach myself to look at people skin deep not just the outer part of it... accept imperfections as a gifts not a curse... to look at the beauty of things no matter how worse it looks like... and its not easy, being a mere human i tend to lose my judgements sometimes..

remember the story of the ugly duckling.. it's about this ugly duck who was being secluded due to it's ugliness but then grew up a very beautiful swan (i think, correct me if i'm wrong).. its a good moral story...i'm not a very good looking person myself too though i'm thanking God for what He had given me.. it makes me wonder sometimes do people befriend with me based on my look? like when a girl suddenly show her interest or avoiding me, is it because of my look? (ehmm2 i have to admit i do look at one's appearance first but then i will directly check their attitude.. seriously but then when it comes to friendship i'll f**k myself should i ever become choosy) do they befriend with me because of my attitudes or do they have to (like terpaksalah konon)?

haa.. such is the world.. (haih why all of sudden)

i can go on and on about this topic but then it's near 4 am and i got class at 9 am..

so tell me, who do you like here;

an old student who worries about his mushy belly or

or his innocently uber cute cousin?
p.s: i chia u choki2 if chose ehm2.. u noe.. haha..

life is beautiful y'all.. so is everything in it.. =)

-so called writer's block...

the internet connection here seriously need attention, got few assignments like usual, belly getting "firmer", rainy days make me feel blue (not doing blue stuffs mind you) and yeah i'm having a serious writer's block this past few days (a politically correct words to use rather than "yeap i'm lazy to update my blog" which is basically the truth.. hah!)

then again, i got to admit i'd tried to post few stuffs but never finished it.. i dunno why? perhaps there's something that i need to sort out first only then the mood to write possess me again.. but i usually got the mood when something happened to me like i'm having problems or i'm happy or i'm somewhere in between.. i told you before that writing is some kind of therapy to me (not that i'm indicating myself as a problematic dude) just that i simply love to write when i feel i want to..

*darn, i'm not going anywhere ain't i.. something still blocking my creativity, my sole property*

let's talk about issues... the PPMSI issue..well, i got to say that i totally opose if they want to stop it.. why? its only Mathematic and Science for goodness sake (and yeah English itself too).. the two subjects which are very vital in global carriers...as Tun M posted in his blog, there are many things of science in English language and how do expect too "membahasa Malaysia kan" all the scientific terms for the convenience of students to learn.. and later on, should they learn every thing in BM, when they come to the tertiary level of their studies only then they realize they in dire need to empower themselves in English.. what more for students who will be going overseas to study, if they are weak in English then they will have double work as they need to learn the terms in English and to learn the subject itself.. and they need to compete in a global scale with students from all over the world.. and when they fail to do, everyone will play the pointing finger game..very cliche of Malaysia..

for the time being we have to accept the fact English is the lingua franca of the world.. i'm not saying i don't love my own nation language.. no.. there are many other way for a person to show his love to his nation other than fussing about the teaching of Math and Science.. like thinking what best for the future rather than what best for self interest.. ;p

i'm not being taught in English for those subjects during my time (why suddenly i feel so old?) and that's why i hope the new generations won't face ordeals in learning the subjects when they come to the tertiary level... furthermore, i believe they also have the confidence to discuss or debate any problems with they lecs or peers (espcly those in foreign countries)...

there's was an incident few years ago, my primary nephew asked me about math which was in English and to my own shame i found i don't know the terms they were using for the subjects.. (of course la then i know what it was after i look at the equations and numbers.. LOL).. its a good thing they know things better than me.. this is how it supposed to be, the newer generation must always be better than the previous one (darn i'm that old)...

for the sake of our future generation to be able to become competitive and viable on the world stage, they need to master these vital subjects in English.. our Bahasa Malaysia won't be left out of course, this is our national language how can they don't know it... this is only my 2 cents worth of thoughts.. i'm not academician or those people with influence.. just an ordinary undergraduate living a hectic student's life who is hoping the best for the future generation (my sons and daughters of course haha)..

-of strength...

http://deweyspage.com/images/weight_lifting_07.gif

How strong are you?
Do you think that the measure of one's strength is based on his physical or ability only?
How about emotional and mental strength?
Which one is much more important?

Let us see...

Can you do your works at your most laziest time?
Can you cool down quickly when you angry like hell?
Can you keep yourself awake during your sleepy hour?
Can you resist yourself from buying abundance of stuffs when you go shopping?
Can you restrain yourself from any kind of addiction you have?
Can you stop cursing foul words when things go wrong?
Can you reduce your complain and work to improve?

You see, i'm not that strong either...
so, next time should anyone brag about their strength in front of you, ask them to this few stuffs.. after all its the measure of strength too aite?

-just some random thought of the day...

*and the internet connection here never cease to amaze me, pun intended.. darn! see i'm complaining already*