testing testing...

pergh.. so bersawang already the blog.. so not up to date.. haha... a lot of things happened for the past months.. it were great yet somehow there were few events which tought me to be well ermm more adult i guess..

out of the blue suddenly i feel like i wanna write something or rather express about something.. coz i'm not very good in talking about it.. i know that i'm not good in expressing my feelings to people or sharing about what the things inside of me.. that's why most people who are close to me realize that i have the habit of always not finishing my story.. coz certain things are better left unsaid.. coz maybe ya i do admit somehow deep down inside i just hope that people understand without me telling it.. i do know, not all can grasp the whole puzzling vibe i'd shown, still, i can't help it.. even if it is hurt, i try to handle it by myself..

so much for independence eh, neah.. i do have people who i can rely on when things get rough and thanks to them, i'm well survive.. i think it's the eldest son syndrom that somehow contribute to my behaviour.. most of the responbilities are on my shoulder and i must under whatever circumstances try to fulfill it.. putting others first before myself.. i'm so used to it that i forgot the longing of my own.. isn't love is a sacrifice? no matter how difficult life can be for a person, it is good to know that someone they care about is in good condition.

so, just remember, we're born and live in a different situation. some got it easy some got it rough. it's how you put your glass of perspective that made whole things different. a periak maybe bitter but when you know it's actually good for the body, you'll begin to eat it. for me of course. still, when you deal with your responbilities ans stuffs and found out sometimes it's hard to cope, just remember that you do it out of love. that's what will drive you. of course, i admit sometimes somewhere along the line we'll question, when is it the time for me? God! how i hope i have an answer for that. whatever it is, keep up the good fight!aha..

-at the moment..

i know that i supposed not to feel bitter about it but then i do.
hoping for the best for everyone coz everyone deserve it.

-progress report.. ahah..

so, it has been more than 1 week i'm here in Langkawi.. first week of working, not so busy, still in the orientation phase, getting to know all the staffs, sections and understand the whole process of cement making.. this week, the production YE ( Young Engineers) will begin our training at each section in the production part beginning with quarry tomorrow..

if u ask me, actually i'm really not into technical work but then i'm a person who have big responsibilities on my shoulder. i need to find a good job with a good pay. still, i begin to like my job gradually. i found it is interesting and challenging at the same time. well, taking care of quarries is a really big task k.. i somehow really looking forward to start my job.. yippi..

this week, i learnt that two of my friends were making some big decision on their life. one is my own best friend who quit his current course in Biology to take up the course that he really likes which is art and design. his parents don't know about this and i believe that it takes a lot of courage and consideration for him to act on his decision. his parents are not really supportive of his dreams to take up arts. another one, is a good friend of mine whom i met during SALT camp. what i know is that he rejected a job offer as financial consultant in a local bank at Sabah. he chose to become a worker in a small-pay welfare center.

from my own perspective both of them are people whom i really adore. they follow their dreams and do what they will be enjoying. nowadays, society have high expectations on the younger generations. sometimes, i think everyone think that you can only success if you got a good job with high salaries that spell BRIGHT FUTURE. the way i see it, these two people are taking command of their own life and really know what they truly want and seize it. i believe they too will become successful people in regards of their field but for me what more important is that they live their life the way they want it and happy of it.

yet, not all have the privileges to make decision on their own life. some need to take into accounts those who relying and depending on them. thus, they need to do what is best for them. especially for the first born. sometimes they need to sacrifice a lot. it's a responsibility that lies on the shoulder since they were born. for me, i don't see this as a burden. to be able to provide the best for someone you love i believe will give you a great satisfaction too.

as far as i am concerned, i like my current job and i believe God will guide me along the way too. and yeah, my motivation is my family as what i told my interviewers last time. i will do well, i'm sure.

so folks, as i told one of my friend before, whatever decision you make, if you put you trust in God on the decision you made, i believe everything will go well.

cheers!

-so, its going start soon...

i arrived at Langkawi yesterday.. took 2 flights to get here.. first flight met a new cool friend, Altaf.. we talked a lot during the journey and didn't realize the plane already touched the ground.. then loitering around at LCCT.. oh ya, i bought a novel by Dan Brown; Deception Point to mark my first journey to my job.. the next flight i got the last row, alone and slept all the way to Langkawi.

when i reached my apartment, whoah! i never thought that it would be this cosy.. the area is big, got dining table, cushions, oven, refrigerator, queen size bed, huge cupboard and two most appreciated necessities; a water heater for bath and air conditioner.. yay! the company is so nice.. still, there's a lot of stuffs that need to be bought to make this apartment a much better place for me..

today, i still woke up late.. darn! i heard from people that habits can be break only if you don't do it in 21 days.. guess what? tomorrow is going to be the first day.. i hope i can wake up. early. really. i need too.

i have mixed feelings right now. i'm kinda nervous but at the same time rather ecstatic for my first official job. i hope things will turn out well for me.. so folks, need to have my sleep. can i? it's very early!

i'll try. nite!

-A long break indeed.

okay. i know well the fact that i've been leaving this blog on hiatus for quite a long period. it's not that i've lost interest in blogging, it just that, hmm, well, anything i'll say will probably just an excuse, so we just leave it here, shall we? we need to move on rite.. hee

well, many things had happened during this long period of break. so, let's just list down few major events that had been happening to my life for the past few months.

• i finished my uni life last May. it was sad end of course and yeah saying goodbye is never easy. perhaps one i'll write about my life at uni as a whole. well, it's not that interesting but what matter most is the memories that i want to remind my self one day. look forward for it.
• i'm back to square one. no further details will be given. just that things sometimes don't turn out the way we want it too and yea time will show whether we're doing the right thing or not.
• Gawai was quite a blast. had a great time with family this hols. we're close. we drank beer, tipsy a bit and yeah dance together at the balai.
• spending great time with dearest friends. lots of great stuffs happened and made me wondering whether in the future will things be the same.
  
• went to Lafarge interview. three stages. did well and i believe in myself. finding my true potential too along the process and value myself more. thanks God i got the job. will be flying to Langkawi tomorrow. eh?!tomorrow!!! waa..
• Spain is a great team.
  

well, i'm reaching to a turning point in my life where soon i'll be working. (this coming monday!). there'll be more responsibilities to be carried out. i know that's it will not going to be easy but i believe in myself.i can do coz Emmanuel! (GOD is with us!).

so that's it for now. live well folks. do well.

Cheers!

-small treasure...

as i was browsing through my photo album just now, i found a photo dated from the year 2002 given by a senior of mine.. the year 2002 was in fact one of the best year i ever had.. there were so may sweet memories back then..

so, here's the poem i found at the back of the photo.. i wanna engrave the poem on this blog so that it'll be here permanently.. here goes..

you are an angel in the eyes of mine,
lightens my day like the sunshine,
where should i find anther brother like you,
so tender and caring, so much that you do,
you gave me hope when i was down,
i truly thank you for what you've done,
you gave me Teddy, my favourite biscuit,
it meant a lot to me, i do admit it,
you gave me picture of Aishwarya Rai,
i admire her beauty and that's no lie,
you taught me how to use my blanket,
it keeps me warm when i'm in bed,
you gave me a card with a poem in it,
with the title Don't Quit, i love to read it,
i know someday we will meet again,
but i don't know where and i don't know when,
i'm sorry for whatever wrong that have made you sad,
sorry for the words i've wrongly said,
just keep faith and believe in whatever you do,
last but not least, may God speed you...

he's the one who taught me how to write poetry and read thick English novel book.. years had passed and i haven't got the chance to meet him once more.. i guess, being adults as we are now, things would be much different than the past.. people change right? hehe.. but i do hope the best will come to him..

i believe that most of you never eaten noodle inside a pail before kan? i did that and almost all those in my boarding school did too last time.. i believe other boarding school also did that.. its great to share noodle with friends.. its like a big family eating together.. hehe.. but i only ate once from the pail and that was when i was in the same room with the seniors.. sedap!! mee president if i'm not mistaken that considering the fact that mee president is the most popular type of instant noodle in my school that time..

i'll share again next time.. now got works to do..

till then.. cheers!!

-into Your hand, i commit again...

its been a while since my last time praying the rosary... my bad i know.. i somehow miss the feelings prayed the rosary with my friends back in matriculation.. why the sudden urge of praying the rosary?

it is Lent season now.. i felt that i didn't observe the importance and the essence of this season much more seriously like the way i should.. and there's a lot of fear and insecurities that been troubling my mind lately.. be it my relationship with God, family, love one and friends.. and society at large.. i'm not the kind of person who like to trouble others with my personal problems and i seldom talk about it to others though i always advise people to share theirs with someone.. shared joy is double the joy and shared sorrow is half the sorrow.. is what i'll say.. and i'll become what i do best.. a listener and giving my few cents worth of thought.. different people, different attitude.. how true is that..

to become someone's burden is the thing i hate the most but then i cannot avoid it.. and i feel sorry for these people especially my family.. me and my complexity issues.. somehow it made me think that these people are better off without me (not family of course).. seeing a half empty glass? maybe... well, i believe that everyone have their own issues and ideology and to make it compatible with the people surrounding is never that easy.. sometimes you have to give in and it will cost you, yourself or you have to stand firm and risk of being alone with your own belief.. either way, the stake is always high...

and one begin to wonder, why its always at times like this that a person will turns to God? but then, is it wrong? who else you can turn to then? for the comfort received by believing that God as our greatest healer is something that anyone must not doubt.. He'll heal the wounded hearts and be their source of strength.. and sorry as i am, for sometimes forgetting Him when its all over.. Sorry..

i'd talked about my insecurities about the future before in my previous post before.. now, the nearer it is for this sem to finish, the more worry i am about what will happen once i go out of this place.. some of my friends already have their own plan and i'm happy for them.. as for me, everything is still not certain yet and with the responsibilities that i have to bear once i become a working adult somehow keep reminding me that i should look out for the best.. and if not? i dare not to think..

whatever it is, its not the end of the world yet (its not yet 2012 bah..ho2).. global warming will still continues on and injustice to the indigenous people will hardly prevails.. life goes on..

emo post? neah.. (denial! denial!)

anyway, be happy and so you will always look younger( ada kaitan, jangan kau..)

and don't forget to pray for those who are affected by the natural disaster so they'll be strengthen in their time of difficulties.. amen..

be blessed dear readers...

-happy saturday...

watch some movie the whole day and learned few things:

• the person who gives you the most happiness is the one who also could gives you the deepest sorrow.
• rage will only eat yourself and it won't affect the one who sparks it. (unless you do the physical contact of course)
• in life, never expect that things would be fair.
  

blog hopping just now and found one interesting quote:

Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people worth the pain.

Erica Baican.

-EIMT 2010...

stand for Educational Interaction Malaysia-Thailand 2010...

Mineral Resources Eng. 4th Year

last week, from the 24th-31st Jan, the Fourth Year of Mineral Resources Engineering had a field trip to Thailand.. it was a great and very enjoying experience for us.. and yeah, a very tiring one too..

off we went...

this field trip was a collaboration with the Mining Department of Chulalongkorn University and we owed them a lot since they did a lot of preparations for us.. they had been a great help for us during our stay and journey in Thailand.. all of them were master students with the average age of 22-23 years old.. very young indeed.. and my special thanks to Keng their committee leader for working tirelessly with us to make this program a success...

inside the train

Day 1

we arrived after a long 23 hours of journey from Butterworth-Bangkok.. u should try it.. glad that the train had beds where we can sleep at night.. the journey didn't felt so long coz we enjoyed ourselves with playing cards, singing and yeah a bit of gossips to spice up a dull conversations.. hehe..

posing at Thailand's Railway station

some unique building designs from the art museum

they (CU Students) brought us to visit Jim Thompson's Museum and shopping at MBK.. there were other plenty other shopping complex within reach nearby (Siam Paragon!!)

do u know this Jim fella lost in Cameron Highlad.. in case you found him do give this museum a call.. (respons la a bit aiya)

beautiful lotus at the museum

Day 2

we went to Chulalongkorn University to visit their engineering faculty.. CU was ranked 78 in THEST and they told us that they never expect that.. but after looking at their facilities and their style of learning, they really deserve it..

journey to Pichit began later that evening..

Day 3

our first mine, Akara Mining.. it is a gold mine and a big one too.. putting all the facts and informations aside, its a very educational (skemakan i.. huhu)

with my CU friends

Ice and Anuch, Reng women!! hehe...

then leave to Lumpang in the evening...

Day 4

it was the first coal mine and yet the largest we possibly could see for us, MR students... Mae Moh Mine.. the mine is so vast that it reached kilometres away from one end to another and hundred metres in depth.. a magnifecent view though.. they are responsible to supply electric energy to a large demand in Thailand..

me at the hostel compound.. feel like autumn right? hehe

overall view of the mine.. i told cha it is vast...

posing cket.. hehe

jex posing

then leave to Tak...

Day 5

went to a zinc mine own by Padaeng Industry.. a well planned and organised mine the way i see it...

some pics in the mine area

mine view

Day 6

went to the smelting plant of Padaeng Industry.. i can remeber back all the knowledge that i learnt and see it with my very own eyes the detail processes in metal extraction..

me and Ice

royal symbol made of zinc

after that, we went to a feldspar mine.. a small one only..

yup.. we dunno how to read the sign board.. huhu

at the feldspar desert, mind you it was hell hot that time..

then, come the fun part.. we visited a, hmm i'm not sure, a park, a rehabilitation place, or whatever but the place was really beautiful... few thing about all the mines that we had visited were they really take care of the environment surround them and that including the society too.. they didn't ignored their social obligations which is a good thing.. they have long concerned regarding the sustainable development and yet in some part of our country, we're still talking about it! hmm...

me and Jex with the lush green forest

and again... =p

it felt so heavenly..

all the distances from each mine were hundred kilometers away from one another.. imagine travelling like that for one whole week.. massage? of course Thailand was well known for their massages.. we did want to have one coz the price at one of the place was dead cheap only 250 baht for 90 minutes.. its 25 myr people.. cheap right?!! but then, we booked it lated and the masseur didn't come.. adui sayangnya... other kind of massage? don't ask me.. don't know.. i'm a good boy bha.. don't know such thing.. ehhee (though there's a lot of taxi driver who promoted us to go to Patpong, we didn't go).. hehe

Day 7

we had a conference and a cultural exchange session with them.. we watched a very graceful and exquisite performance by the high school students.. of course, the guys were paying their attention to the fullest.. ehhe...

they are all pretty kan??

we did a great performance too i guess.. well, we were the ambassadors of Malaysia's culture after all.. hehe.. we performed the dances from the Malay, Chinese and Indian community and followed by a dance using the Malaysia Truly Asia song.. very cool right?

my dance mate at the back, Ex, credit to her for some of the photos here

what about dances from Borneo u might ask.. as a Borneon boy, of course i want to introduce our culture too.. hehe.. we did a short performance of Sumazau dance and then we invited all people to join us along.. its an easy and merry dance.. even the Thai people learnt it easily.. we had a happy time...

Bornean at Thailand!! YAY!!

after the session finished, we went back to our hotel err still with our own costumes (with some of my friends).. hey, its really cool you know to walk around with the traditional costumes in a foreign country where people look at you with where-on-earth-these-people-coming-from kind of look.. moreover, i'm wearing the sumazau costume ok.. borneo costume err people rarely wear it outside in the public.. imagine you wear the orang ulu costume with the cawat and all the other regalia, walla!! you are sure to have everyone attention on the street.. however, its a good thing you do it in a foreign country..hehe.. nobody will capture your photo and send it to The Star..

no, if you're thinking we're giving maggi mee from Malaysia to them, you're probably right.. no lah inside got antique labu sayung bha..

YEAH!! CHULA FIGHTING!!

these are my cool friends!!

later that evening, i went to MBK alone coz i want to meet Theressa.. she's Burmese friend that i met during SALT last year.. i got a chocolate ice cream treat and a small present too!! yay!!

in front of Siam Paragon...

hardworking Theressa...hehe

at night, we went to have a dinner on a cruise and the best thing was for only 500 baht ok!! that was like less 50% than the original price for one person.. the food were yummy (mind you, all of us were gaining weight there..adoh!!), then the view along the river was mesmerising especially when we passed the grand palace..(it's a big palace ok)..

Day 8

went to Chathuchak market (not sure whether the spelling correct or not) for shopping and i found out that i was overwhelmed with disbelief with the unbelievable cheap prices of the stuffs there.. you can even bargain for cheaper price for the stuffs you like.. whoah!! my eyes and my body were like; i want this! i want that too! oh there's another!!!... huhu.. yeah, its that cheap..and the fashion style of shirts there are cool too.. so, basically many of us brought back quite a lot of stuffs.. remember, next time you go Bangkok, make sure you bring just a few shirts so later when you go back you can fill your case with a whole lot of new clothes..hehe...

with Yin and Anuch in Tuk Tuk.. cool experience

it was a sad departure from Bangkok (i even hurt my own finger as the sign of my sadness.. duh.. sign of my clumsiness to be exact).. their hospitality were great and we enjoyed ourselves very much during the whole trip.. Thailand is indeed The Land of Smile!!

coz i'll be leaving on a railway train..dunno when i'll be back again.. oh babe, i have to go..

:leaving on a railway train.. =)

on another story, there was this one night i went out alone outside our hotel and walked along the pedestrian in the city.. what so special about that huh? hehe..with a cup of maggi mee in my hand and a can of beer to complete it..hoho.. i always wanted to walk in a city while eating mee in the cup and just walked around not bothering anyone.. it was a great feeling for me since it was my first time doing that.. i want to do that again next time.. i wanna go back there again.. yay!!

Cheers!!!

-Sawadeekap...

so, at last our field trip to Thailand ended last Sunday and yay!!! it was a blast!! it is obvious that i've been neglecting my blog for the last few months.. it is either i'm really busy or i'm just procrastinating.. hmm i'm somewhere in the middle.. yet, the last few months were the time where i really had some of the greatest moments in my life.. yeap, will blog about it later folks.. now need to catch up with some other stuffs..

(excuses.. i know.. haha)

k chiaow!!!

-vurnerable

often in life,
people say they are okay when they are not,
they act strong,
yet they are very fragile inside,
they hide the pain,
but pain is all their heart,
in denial they are,
but they have reasons,
sure they have,
a thief would not steal for nothing,
nor do a mom when she scolds her kids,
people are vulnerable,
we all are,
we can be as soft as a cotton candy,
or as hard as the rocky mountains,
and only the heart knows why...

Everywhere I look I see her smile
Her absent-minded eyes
And she has kept me wondering for so long
How this thing could go wrong.

It seems to me that we are both the same
Playing the same game
But as darkness falls this true love falls apart Into a riddle of her heart.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt the one I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Days like these no one should be alone
No heart should hide away
Her touch is gently conquering my mind
There's nothing words can say.

She's coloured all the secrets of my soul
I've whispered all my dreams
But just as nighttime falls this vision falls apart
Into a riddle of her heart, yea.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt someone I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Don't hide your eyes...

:::ROXETTE:::

-sometimes....

sometimes we have to swallow the bitterness of life to taste its sweetness...
sometimes love is not all about showing it, but rather realizing it is deep inside...
sometimes the littlest act changes people...
sometimes its all about endurance...
sometimes we have to be in the losing side...
sometimes to put other first is the best thing to do...
sometimes its always like that...

sometimes life is like that...

sometimes...

-kucing hitam itu comel juga...

since my other friends are still editing, allow me to merepek some more.. like la ada orang gago.. wanna noe sumthin a big shit fell on me last week... while i was on my way to Tnjg. Malim, i was shocked to be informed that our exam will be finishing on 18th Nov.. the real shit is i already bought a flight ticket back to Kuching on da 13th.. shit rite??!!

n now i dunno wat to do, don't have the guts to let fam noe coz it will mean that i need more money to buy new ticket.. n money is the root of all problem.. haha.. cliche.. but nvm, there's always another way.. hmm..

o yeah, another shit, my olympus cam buat problem also.. adoi.. why la broken at time like this.. mana la got time to send to kedai for repair.. hmm...

there are three things i'm looking forward to this coming holiday (in particular order of occurrence);

• S.A.L.T Program at Ulu Belaga (an exposure that i really need)
  
• meeting ms. Abau (can't wait!!!)
• balik kampung to Belaga with family (after so long haven't going back to my father's ville)

so are these are three things that my heart can't wait to step my feet on Sarawak... mo balik!! but exam around the corner d.. o yeah, driving license also.. which spells money! money! too... adei, byk mo gna duit..

hmm, but life is short to worry about stuffs, let's get mad n rule the world!!! hahaha!!!

-design oo design...

flash news:

• it's now 4.30 a.m and i'm still at the cafe with my group members doing design assignment.
• yesterday finished at 6 a.m something...
  
• class is at 9 a.m. hope i'll be able to wake up.
• a friend upload a pic of me sleeping with mouth open in fb. malu oo...
• n another friend tagged my gf on it.. super duper malu once more..
• but nvm.. biarla malu.. huhu..

-Abau's story...

it's been a while...
yeap it is.. among the reasons why i'm so lazy updating my blog is coz my blog got a problem, if u notice my blogger friends' links not functioning... so kinda lost the enthusiasm of blogging b'coz of this..

excuses... i know, i know...

well, many things had changed for the past few weeks, owh did i mention major drastic change?? it all begin during the Raya hols, we went to the ICG at Johore, and guess what? i received the biggest surprise that i could never think of... there's this girl hmm let's call her abau for a while...

oh yeah, btw ICG was super fun, educational and memorable... oh i forgot embarrassing too.. why? coz i was chosen as a representative of my diocese to become a runaway model... oh no, i don't do modelling.. my friends had to do it too.. kind of "paksa rela" thinggy.. for the sake of my final year memories, i'm ready to be booed by people, read: guys only.. hehe.. adei, seriously that time i felt like i wanna hide myself under the curtain, but there was no curtain around, so being a professional, (its ok if u feel u wanna puke, that's my intention anyway hehe) i had to walk confidently on the stage... result? i didn't won it.. as expected aite.. hoho..

there were plenty of other memories too, but i guess i'm the only one would be so ecstatic about it..

oh yeah, regarding abau, well, she's the girl that i fond of before ICG.. she's still doing her practical at Miri for the time being, so i wouldn't expect to meet her at Johore.. but then, there she was that night, surprising me with her presence.. at first sight, i thought i saw an angel, but then i realize she's an abau.. abau is hantu or ghost btw... but she's a special kind of abau..

to make a very very very long story short, i confessed my feelings to her the next night... ahaha.. it's not a sudden or rush decision oo.. i thought about it way earlier but i never thought i would met her that early.. yeah, there were few sweet words and moments during my confession in front on Mother Mary's Grotto that time.. even God was at my side, the night were cold and serene, a perfect condition for an unexpected confession from me.. huhu.. nervous? of course i am.. but God gave me strength, thanks..

the words that i used? yada yada yada.. can ask her later but i doubt it if she still remember.. hehe.. but the last words were err "would you be my other half?".. i don't know where i got that from, blame the tv.. huhu.. n she quietly answered, yes.. a very quite one that i had to ask her to say it a bit louder.. haha.. so there it was, the moment of my first love begun.. 12.02 am 21st/09/09... today is the 2nd week already.. =)

well, if you think i'm cheesy enough to write about this in my blog, well i am.. love make you more childish isn't it.. i'm doing all the things that i never thought i would before.. guess that's what they call it the power of love.. ehee... kan cyg? haha..

oh yeah, that girl, that abau, her name is Kay.. my Kay, my abau and my girl.. if you ever reading this abau, never doubt my feelings, for you are my first love.. the one that i seek for a long time...
guess that we're now walking hand in hand in this road of life... let's hope we'll walk to the end of it.. the future may be uncertain, but i believe it's me and it's you that will make everything.. God is willing...



cyg u... =)

-my secret place

i read a shout out by a friend of mine which stated that he missed to lay on the school's track while watching the stars above.. me too am missing the same thing...

our high school has a track which is located at the back of our dorm (its so near that you can reach there within a few minutes)... its a great place and i believe if it can talk, it will share the stories of all the students who had put their feet on the top of its red, coarse track..

last time during form 5, i was having quite a hard life.. at that time there's so many problems that i faced and being a teenager who still learn on how to cope up with stuffs like that, i sometimes found out problems were hard to solve...

then, there it was, the track that had been a great companion during the lonesome and troubles night...

i always went there in the middle of the night.. it was complete dark with a total silence.. well, not really; sometimes the noise from the dorms can be heard from afar.. but it did felt serene and safe.. and i laid down there, sometimes for hours, just looking at the sky which was blessed with million of stars... and it was beautiful...

i am healed again... beneath the christmas alike tree, everything seems so perfect and reminded me that everything were going to be okay.. and it were..

nowadays, its hard to find a place like that anymore.. a place where you wanna run when the tides are against you.. a place where you can search for miracles within your soul and find the remedies for all the troubles that come.. a place which is comfortable and reminds you, that you are still alive... and should be kicking!!

the track was my secret place, only one people knew about it that time.. and he's my best friend now...

perhaps one day may be i should go back there again, to lay down and to immerse in my own world once again...

----------------------------------------------------------------
Let me take you to
My secret place
High above the earth
Into out of space
Only God knows where
Only God knows how
I will take you there
Somehow
~last day of your life -Glass Pear

-in a week...

29.07.09
-campus closed due to H1N1.
-other campuses informed they couldn't make it to the concert.
-night had meeting. decision: canceled the concert. hard but for the best interest of all.

30.07.09
-went to Bukit Bendera with Mickey, Lucy and her sister Michelle. not so great coz stranded at the top and only came down after 3 hours. arghh...

31.07.09
-watched Merlin at room and lazying around at room...

01.08.09
-supposedly the date of the concert but what to do. sad but life must go on.
-went to church to refund ticket's money to people.
-waiting with Mike while the girls went shopping.
-and yeah.. Happy Friendship Day!!!

02.08.09
-continued my Merlin adventure.

03.o8.o9
-received present from Mickey.a metal liquor bottle. the one you always saw in cowboy movie bah. don't know what to do with it but it sure looks nice. haven't got something for him. =(

04.08.09
-lazying around again.
-discovered something big.

05.08.09
-last holiday.
-did assignments. yeah, i know at last something got to do with study.

o6.08.09
-many class canceled.
-got energy to type something.

-void...

this month is going to be hell,
not that i'm committing sinful acts,
but its so busy that sometimes i can't keep my mind sane,
no, no, i'm not going crazy,
more tense and emo, that's maybe,
with all the industrial reports due next week,
and industrial presentation end of this month,
and most of all,
the things that drained me the most,
the Concert Carnival Project,
whoah, how i'm suppose to have a nice sleep (though i do have one),
life so far is not a bed of roses but rather a fast pace video games,
different is, video games have pause while my life don't,
how i'm suddenly in love with August and can't wait for her presence,
but to o God i pray,
that everything will falls into places,
as it will...


and for a person who makes my day always,
thank you,
i pray to Lord someday we'll meet,
and settle the things we suppose to settle,
and we'll wait, we wait together aite.. =)

-21 Guns...

this song is dedicated to myself... it just that sometimes i'm sick of fighting... i am..
i can be tired too...

21 Guns lyrics
Songwriters: Armstrong, Billie Joe; Bowie, David; Pritchard, Michael; Wright, Frank E., Iii;

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

-Hari Bapak...

Pak,

i have a confession to make,

i hope you never read this,

seriously....



the thing is,

i love someone more than i love you,

yeah, i know u are my bapak,

but pak, i love you less than i love her,

that's the truth,

and it will always be like that,

my feelings for her will never alter...



we had a rough relationship,

hmm, its your fault,

ok, mine too, we both are two stubborn guys,

we just have to admit it,

that's where her role come,

comforting as she is,

like a bridge that connect us both,

that's why i love her...

you know...



but Pak,

i love you too,

it just a little less,

i know your hardship,

i hope you see mine too,

and i know you did,

you struggle a lot,

work a lot,

you did what a father should do,

you wanna try your best,

and i know sometimes the situations are against you,

so chill for a while Pak,

hang on there,

everthing will change,

put your trust on your son,

he know what he's doing ok..



so Pak,

the woman just now,

i love her more,

and i know you love her so much too,

luckily we don't have to fight to get her attention,

Mak, we love you,

Pak, Happy Father's Day...

My Beloved Parents...