-small treasure...

as i was browsing through my photo album just now, i found a photo dated from the year 2002 given by a senior of mine.. the year 2002 was in fact one of the best year i ever had.. there were so may sweet memories back then..

so, here's the poem i found at the back of the photo.. i wanna engrave the poem on this blog so that it'll be here permanently.. here goes..

you are an angel in the eyes of mine,
lightens my day like the sunshine,
where should i find anther brother like you,
so tender and caring, so much that you do,
you gave me hope when i was down,
i truly thank you for what you've done,
you gave me Teddy, my favourite biscuit,
it meant a lot to me, i do admit it,
you gave me picture of Aishwarya Rai,
i admire her beauty and that's no lie,
you taught me how to use my blanket,
it keeps me warm when i'm in bed,
you gave me a card with a poem in it,
with the title Don't Quit, i love to read it,
i know someday we will meet again,
but i don't know where and i don't know when,
i'm sorry for whatever wrong that have made you sad,
sorry for the words i've wrongly said,
just keep faith and believe in whatever you do,
last but not least, may God speed you...

he's the one who taught me how to write poetry and read thick English novel book.. years had passed and i haven't got the chance to meet him once more.. i guess, being adults as we are now, things would be much different than the past.. people change right? hehe.. but i do hope the best will come to him..

i believe that most of you never eaten noodle inside a pail before kan? i did that and almost all those in my boarding school did too last time.. i believe other boarding school also did that.. its great to share noodle with friends.. its like a big family eating together.. hehe.. but i only ate once from the pail and that was when i was in the same room with the seniors.. sedap!! mee president if i'm not mistaken that considering the fact that mee president is the most popular type of instant noodle in my school that time..

i'll share again next time.. now got works to do..

till then.. cheers!!

"nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands"

SOMEWHERE I HAVE NEVER TRAVELLED, GLADLY BEYOND
by E.E CUMMINGS

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands


:beautifully written, a masterpiece.. me like!

=)

they might not need me; but they might.
i'll let my head be just in sight;
a smile as small as mine might be
precisely their necessity.

-Emily Dickinson

click pic for source...

-it's raining outside...

i have always love the rain,
for it has the ability to wash away the pain,
i love the cold, chill atmosphere,
which will calm my being here,
every drop of it,
will be the earth's treat,
the frogs rejoice in perpetual joy,
the flowers dancing no longer they coy,

and here i am sitting by my window,
trying to let go this constant sorrow,
and then i realize i'm truly blessed,
for the rain reminds me God's love forever fresh...

=) lil_one

-The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

i read this poem few days back and it stroked my heart deeply...ouch!! haha.. it makes me realize that this is the way how love should be... without expectation, standards to be followed but rather a mystery to be learnt and solved...

i do admit that i do have expectations when it comes to spouse matter (tell me who's not?!!).. and my friends are accusing (i choose this word rather than blaming coz well, truth is hurt, is it not?) me being a choosy dude.. which in fact i am.. its not that i want to be with someone as hot as Adriana Lima (you guys know i'm deeply in love with this girl) but rather someone that could fulfill what my life lacking of...

some people will go and chase after someone and be in love and then what? they separate coz they said there's no chemistry between them, they're not match made in heaven and etc.. all those same excuses just because they want to get rid of another person.. some ending up regreting the choice of their life and regreting won't lead us to no where too.. its the dot.. literally..

someone you love is someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with for goodness sake.. that's for me a very solid reason why we must choose wisely too... of course then we shouldn't be too choosy and expect that someone to score a perfect 10 on our requirements.. think do we fulfill their own requirements too?

i learn something.. and i'll remind myself with that.. some basic requirements of most guys seek:

• someone who can cook. (well, that's what their in-laws are expecting too and its great to have a home made meal rather than outside meals)
• someone who respect us and our family.(of course this is the vital part, especially in my family, where bonding we have close bonding, i can't imagine leaving my family just because my spouse not in sync with them)
• someone who accept us as we are. (and yeah we do will accept as you are.. it something like accepting each other vices)
• someone who will be there for us in time of our need.(its the best feeling to see the face of our spouse (if the marriage us not wreck) waiting at the door greeting us with the warm smile and a litte massage too.. hehe.. all the tiredness of works will be blown away)
• someone who will love and love unconditionally.(in time of a ralationship, of course there will be ups and downs.. lucks and dooms.. so, regardless of whatever the situation is, she will stay together to face it all)

well, the list might go and on but i believe these are some part of what we want (for me as far as i'm concerned).. yeah, i'm a typical Asian dude you see.. and then as written in the invitation, i wouldn't care this and that, i'm just hoping to meet someone who like me, trying to live my life to the fullest and cherish it..

darn it.. well, its a romance post again.. February oh February please fly away...
– for without WOMEN, MEN will never be able to witness this beauty of life alone! – as quoted from As I See It...

-is your life your choice?

ever waking up one day, to be on the other side of the bed,

and feels that it is not right, because it is wrong...

ever feel of leading a wrong life,

walking on a false path,

where once upon a time

a different path might lead us to a sunny day,

or even to hell on earth...

we tend to follow the norm of the society,

where everything is based on facts and figures,

little room to be deviant, even less to become an individual,

where too many rules to be followed and obeyed,

and create small chances for the idealist,

to go against the flow,

will make one a public stigma...

did we ever listen to the little voice of our heart,

or are our future predetermined by the current circumstances,

we follow and walk and walk through it,

to a promising place which has been foretold...

where are our instincts at time like this,

or is it because we so use to ignore it,

and become indecisive with the choices that lay in front us,

where every choices brings different possibilities,

do we take what will satisfy our passions and dreams,

or do we take the one that guarantees a rewarding future,

or perhaps it would be our lucky day,

being able to fulfill both, if only...

because sometimes an uncertain path,

guided by the voice of our heart,

might surprise us with it's adventure,

to stumble and fall in the deepest hole,

to fly and soar across the sky,

for that is life,

full it's magical wonders...

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

footnotes: for a while I've been thinking about myself and my life... are both of it in synergy with each other... i wonder...

-Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

by Robert J. Burdette

-for my future square root three...

i've been wanting to post this for quite a while already... cool poem :)

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

by David Feinberg

as cited in Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

-Chapter 11: mEmOrIes...

just now, due to the boredom i had in class, i suddenly made a poem.. haha.. after so long man.. not jiwang2 one la.. there's someone in my memories who thought me how to write poetry who will always remains a mystery coz i don't to create a misery.. wow thats rhyme.. heh2.. neway, here goes...

Memories are beautiful,
yet somehow could become painful,
the one who treasure it,
must accept when reality hits,
if one hoping memories will repeat itself again,
will find himself only in pain,
and if one trying to run from it,
you can run, but it will continue to seeks,
keep the sweets, and also the bads,
like a candle lit, don't let it fades...

-random..

there's an unseen gap between us,
we realize but never bother,
acting like everything is fine,
is somehow hypocrite,
but isn't that how we are before,
this heart bleeds no more,
no room to even cry,
longing for familiar voices,
which comfort this pain let it be gone,
i am lost yet i'm still here,
only waiting for someone who cares....

Chapter 4;January 2008

"I've been thinking I've been thinking
I've been thinking too much
I just want to live now for a little while
And cast my dreams to the wind
Don't wanna wonder
Don't wanna wonder what it's all about
I'm just working for a living, singing with my friends
As I cast my dreams to the wind"
-- "Maryland" (Vonda Shepard)

WhO WiLL cAtCh Me WhEn I FaLL?

who will catch me when i fall?
who will save me among them all?
falling deeper in this valley of despair,
would someone come and show they care...

my heart hurts and it bleeds,
no one knows but myself to keep,
this fake smile that i've always shown,
never will i know when it would gone...

they come and they go,
will they ever stay i don't know,
coz' sooner or later, people may change,
the complexity of this life, no one can comprehend...

now here i am, and there's no one to call,
still the question lingers, who will catch me when i fall???