testing testing...

pergh.. so bersawang already the blog.. so not up to date.. haha... a lot of things happened for the past months.. it were great yet somehow there were few events which tought me to be well ermm more adult i guess..

out of the blue suddenly i feel like i wanna write something or rather express about something.. coz i'm not very good in talking about it.. i know that i'm not good in expressing my feelings to people or sharing about what the things inside of me.. that's why most people who are close to me realize that i have the habit of always not finishing my story.. coz certain things are better left unsaid.. coz maybe ya i do admit somehow deep down inside i just hope that people understand without me telling it.. i do know, not all can grasp the whole puzzling vibe i'd shown, still, i can't help it.. even if it is hurt, i try to handle it by myself..

so much for independence eh, neah.. i do have people who i can rely on when things get rough and thanks to them, i'm well survive.. i think it's the eldest son syndrom that somehow contribute to my behaviour.. most of the responbilities are on my shoulder and i must under whatever circumstances try to fulfill it.. putting others first before myself.. i'm so used to it that i forgot the longing of my own.. isn't love is a sacrifice? no matter how difficult life can be for a person, it is good to know that someone they care about is in good condition.

so, just remember, we're born and live in a different situation. some got it easy some got it rough. it's how you put your glass of perspective that made whole things different. a periak maybe bitter but when you know it's actually good for the body, you'll begin to eat it. for me of course. still, when you deal with your responbilities ans stuffs and found out sometimes it's hard to cope, just remember that you do it out of love. that's what will drive you. of course, i admit sometimes somewhere along the line we'll question, when is it the time for me? God! how i hope i have an answer for that. whatever it is, keep up the good fight!aha..