The puzzle of my life, is yet to complete...

sa teda duit mo kawen...

2011-07-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

tsk tsk tsk....

i've been doubting to write since forever and then, what the heck... it's my blog anyway and it's for my own reading in the future too.. as a remembrance of how my life had been and how i survive through it all..

now, i'm basically 24 years old of age and this coming 12th July is my 1 year anniversary of working.. yada! and yet, sad thing is i still haven't got suffice saving for myself or maybe none. darn! i dunno what happen to my money.. my earning is ok.. still..

yeap, i have a house to pay.. last year when i just start working, i'm buying a house for my family under my name with my parents.. it's a cool house, a double story corner (which me myself haven't sleep in there yet).. well, every month i need to pay for most of the payment which is rather big for a newbie in the working world.. i'm not taking it as a burden coz i know the condition of my family, our nett income as a whole, so it is ok for me.. i'm the eldest.. so what else can i expect, the ball is on me now..

and the money, yes, most of it are going out.. i really hope i can keep it! still, there are times when i envy people who have saving.. i should learn and do it instantly.. no excuses.. right?! yes, sometimes you know, i do want to spend my money for myself too like the others.. buying stuffs that i've been longing.. a transport for myself to be precise, now.. one year of working and i still haven't got my own transport.. i tumpang people and sometimes i just walk going and coming back from the plant.. i do feel bitter bout it but then i understand the whole situation and take a grasp on whatever beliefs i have to make me strong and just don't bother about it..

every now and then, i believe, if i see this financial thinggy as a problem, it will never end unless other wise i'm looking at it differently and start planning something about it.. right now, it still feels like being in uni. kejap ada duit kejap teda.. kalo teda, makan maggi la geng.. haha..

i always remind myself to not allow this whole things make me feel troubled and i believe i can survive through this.. so stan, you are able lah.. (there you go again, self advice to myself)

and lately i've been listening to a sabahan song by Jimmy Palikat, adui btul2 untuk sa oo skrang.. anak kampung..

so, susah la mo kawen ni kalo duit teda.. haha.. mo cari gf pun jgn mimpi la dulu.. haha..

peeps, bersyukurlah dgn apa yang ko ada sekarang.. if you think life is hard, there are other people living a more difficult life than you, same goes to me..

whatever it is, God will provides and i put my trust in that.

testing testing...

2011-05-17T00:29:00.003+08:00

pergh.. so bersawang already the blog.. so not up to date.. haha... a lot of things happened for the past months.. it were great yet somehow there were few events which tought me to be well ermm more adult i guess..

out of the blue suddenly i feel like i wanna write something or rather express about something.. coz i'm not very good in talking about it.. i know that i'm not good in expressing my feelings to people or sharing about what the things inside of me.. that's why most people who are close to me realize that i have the habit of always not finishing my story.. coz certain things are better left unsaid.. coz maybe ya i do admit somehow deep down inside i just hope that people understand without me telling it.. i do know, not all can grasp the whole puzzling vibe i'd shown, still, i can't help it.. even if it is hurt, i try to handle it by myself..

so much for independence eh, neah.. i do have people who i can rely on when things get rough and thanks to them, i'm well survive.. i think it's the eldest son syndrom that somehow contribute to my behaviour.. most of the responbilities are on my shoulder and i must under whatever circumstances try to fulfill it.. putting others first before myself.. i'm so used to it that i forgot the longing of my own.. isn't love is a sacrifice? no matter how difficult life can be for a person, it is good to know that someone they care about is in good condition.

so, just remember, we're born and live in a different situation. some got it easy some got it rough. it's how you put your glass of perspective that made whole things different. a periak maybe bitter but when you know it's actually good for the body, you'll begin to eat it. for me of course. still, when you deal with your responbilities ans stuffs and found out sometimes it's hard to cope, just remember that you do it out of love. that's what will drive you. of course, i admit sometimes somewhere along the line we'll question, when is it the time for me? God! how i hope i have an answer for that. whatever it is, keep up the good fight!aha..

-reminders...

2010-08-23T21:50:00.003+08:00

never disappoint those who put their trust in you. if they believe in you, why won't you believe in yourself? stand up tall and go to take over the world! =)

always remember your roots. the very reason why you work all out. in case you forget about it, take a time to think about it and get back to your feelings at that moment and rise up again anew.. =)

You can be big someday! You can be someone someday! it doesn't matter to whom but rather to whom that matters!=)

-Marriage.

2010-08-13T19:24:00.002+08:00

found this in Facebook. i claim no right of this article and yeah just thinking it as a responsibility for me to share this article.. whatever it is, for those who have married already, look again to your spouse.. look real deep.. and figure out what your heart tells you that time..
*****
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

-at the moment..

2010-07-23T19:21:00.002+08:00

i know that i supposed not to feel bitter about it but then i do.
hoping for the best for everyone coz everyone deserve it.

-progress report.. ahah..

2010-07-18T23:06:00.004+08:00

so, it has been more than 1 week i'm here in Langkawi.. first week of working, not so busy, still in the orientation phase, getting to know all the staffs, sections and understand the whole process of cement making.. this week, the production YE ( Young Engineers) will begin our training at each section in the production part beginning with quarry tomorrow..

if u ask me, actually i'm really not into technical work but then i'm a person who have big responsibilities on my shoulder. i need to find a good job with a good pay. still, i begin to like my job gradually. i found it is interesting and challenging at the same time. well, taking care of quarries is a really big task k.. i somehow really looking forward to start my job.. yippi..

this week, i learnt that two of my friends were making some big decision on their life. one is my own best friend who quit his current course in Biology to take up the course that he really likes which is art and design. his parents don't know about this and i believe that it takes a lot of courage and consideration for him to act on his decision. his parents are not really supportive of his dreams to take up arts. another one, is a good friend of mine whom i met during SALT camp. what i know is that he rejected a job offer as financial consultant in a local bank at Sabah. he chose to become a worker in a small-pay welfare center.

from my own perspective both of them are people whom i really adore. they follow their dreams and do what they will be enjoying. nowadays, society have high expectations on the younger generations. sometimes, i think everyone think that you can only success if you got a good job with high salaries that spell BRIGHT FUTURE. the way i see it, these two people are taking command of their own life and really know what they truly want and seize it. i believe they too will become successful people in regards of their field but for me what more important is that they live their life the way they want it and happy of it.

yet, not all have the privileges to make decision on their own life. some need to take into accounts those who relying and depending on them. thus, they need to do what is best for them. especially for the first born. sometimes they need to sacrifice a lot. it's a responsibility that lies on the shoulder since they were born. for me, i don't see this as a burden. to be able to provide the best for someone you love i believe will give you a great satisfaction too.

as far as i am concerned, i like my current job and i believe God will guide me along the way too. and yeah, my motivation is my family as what i told my interviewers last time. i will do well, i'm sure.

so folks, as i told one of my friend before, whatever decision you make, if you put you trust in God on the decision you made, i believe everything will go well.

cheers!

-so, its going start soon...

2010-07-11T23:14:00.004+08:00

i arrived at Langkawi yesterday.. took 2 flights to get here.. first flight met a new cool friend, Altaf.. we talked a lot during the journey and didn't realize the plane already touched the ground.. then loitering around at LCCT.. oh ya, i bought a novel by Dan Brown; Deception Point to mark my first journey to my job.. the next flight i got the last row, alone and slept all the way to Langkawi.

when i reached my apartment, whoah! i never thought that it would be this cosy.. the area is big, got dining table, cushions, oven, refrigerator, queen size bed, huge cupboard and two most appreciated necessities; a water heater for bath and air conditioner.. yay! the company is so nice.. still, there's a lot of stuffs that need to be bought to make this apartment a much better place for me..

today, i still woke up late.. darn! i heard from people that habits can be break only if you don't do it in 21 days.. guess what? tomorrow is going to be the first day.. i hope i can wake up. early. really. i need too.

i have mixed feelings right now. i'm kinda nervous but at the same time rather ecstatic for my first official job. i hope things will turn out well for me.. so folks, need to have my sleep. can i? it's very early!

i'll try. nite!

-A long break indeed.

2010-07-09T02:42:00.002+08:00

okay. i know well the fact that i've been leaving this blog on hiatus for quite a long period. it's not that i've lost interest in blogging, it just that, hmm, well, anything i'll say will probably just an excuse, so we just leave it here, shall we? we need to move on rite.. hee

well, many things had happened during this long period of break. so, let's just list down few major events that had been happening to my life for the past few months.

i finished my uni life last May. it was sad end of course and yeah saying goodbye is never easy. perhaps one i'll write about my life at uni as a whole. well, it's not that interesting but what matter most is the memories that i want to remind my self one day. look forward for it.
i'm back to square one. no further details will be given. just that things sometimes don't turn out the way we want it too and yea time will show whether we're doing the right thing or not.
Gawai was quite a blast. had a great time with family this hols. we're close. we drank beer, tipsy a bit and yeah dance together at the balai.
spending great time with dearest friends. lots of great stuffs happened and made me wondering whether in the future will things be the same.
went to Lafarge interview. three stages. did well and i believe in myself. finding my true potential too along the process and value myself more. thanks God i got the job. will be flying to Langkawi tomorrow. eh?!tomorrow!!! waa..
Spain is a great team.

well, i'm reaching to a turning point in my life where soon i'll be working. (this coming monday!). there'll be more responsibilities to be carried out. i know that's it will not going to be easy but i believe in myself.i can do coz Emmanuel! (GOD is with us!).

so that's it for now. live well folks. do well.

Cheers!

-private emotion...

2010-04-26T02:01:00.005+08:00

no one gonna love you, yourself like you do...

and often we forget that..
of course, family and God love you too,
however, if you, yourself not loving yourself enough,
it's waste of their love...

our vocation is to love;
God, one another, family and friends,
and even enemies!
but then, have you ever thought of loving yourself first?

loving the way you look,
loving the way you behave,
loving every gifts and flaws you have,
loving the real you inside and not the one you try to portray...
loving the way when you're happy,
every little moment of your bliss,
loving the way when you're sad or hurting,
every little thing that brings you sorrow,
loving you, yourself more than you can ever imagine...

people may come and go,
some will love you and some will not,
but if you realize that you have your own love,
asides from those who matters,
you'll always be in love...
always...

remind yourself this whenever you feel there's no love for you,

no one gonna love you, yourself like you do...

-you

2010-03-26T19:03:00.002+08:00

you there,
why did you put the happy face mask on,
when deep inside you're really hurting,
so hurt that you can no longer feel the pain,
why did you?
the person that would've understand you the most,
in time when you're dealing with your worst situation,
when the world couldn't understand,
how can you just let you be,
leaving you there,
struggling with your own feelings,
when you talk,
when you share your greatest fear,
why can't you see that you're revealing the fragile you,
the one that you should've protected,
you're tired of being reasonable,
you're tired of always giving in,
you're tired of trying,
you no longer can talk from the depth,
coz every time you try,
you know you'll hurt again,
perhaps maybe its you,
slowly losing yourself,
and knowing that life is not that bed of roses....

Percy Sledge - When A Man Loves A Woman

2010-03-23T02:07:00.001+08:00

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way it ought to be

Well, this man loves a woman
I gave you everything I had
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love
Baby, please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see

When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman.....

-small treasure...

2010-03-22T23:58:00.003+08:00

as i was browsing through my photo album just now, i found a photo dated from the year 2002 given by a senior of mine.. the year 2002 was in fact one of the best year i ever had.. there were so may sweet memories back then..

so, here's the poem i found at the back of the photo.. i wanna engrave the poem on this blog so that it'll be here permanently.. here goes..

you are an angel in the eyes of mine,
lightens my day like the sunshine,
where should i find anther brother like you,
so tender and caring, so much that you do,
you gave me hope when i was down,
i truly thank you for what you've done,
you gave me Teddy, my favourite biscuit,
it meant a lot to me, i do admit it,
you gave me picture of Aishwarya Rai,
i admire her beauty and that's no lie,
you taught me how to use my blanket,
it keeps me warm when i'm in bed,
you gave me a card with a poem in it,
with the title Don't Quit, i love to read it,
i know someday we will meet again,
but i don't know where and i don't know when,
i'm sorry for whatever wrong that have made you sad,
sorry for the words i've wrongly said,
just keep faith and believe in whatever you do,
last but not least, may God speed you...

he's the one who taught me how to write poetry and read thick English novel book.. years had passed and i haven't got the chance to meet him once more.. i guess, being adults as we are now, things would be much different than the past.. people change right? hehe.. but i do hope the best will come to him..

i believe that most of you never eaten noodle inside a pail before kan? i did that and almost all those in my boarding school did too last time.. i believe other boarding school also did that.. its great to share noodle with friends.. its like a big family eating together.. hehe.. but i only ate once from the pail and that was when i was in the same room with the seniors.. sedap!! mee president if i'm not mistaken that considering the fact that mee president is the most popular type of instant noodle in my school that time..

i'll share again next time.. now got works to do..

till then.. cheers!!

-scooby scooby doo!

2010-03-04T18:03:00.004+08:00

click pic for source

blog hopping just now and found something interesting.. i don't know whether i posted it before but here goes..

Was it possible for a dog to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not.
excerpt from the book of Marley and Me...

i watched the movie last year and not surprisingly i did drop few precious tears.. che.. of course la.. i'm a dog lover bah though for the time being our family don't have any dog yet coz we're still settling down.. will have it in near future..

as i recall back, i remembered myself crying so much when i was small because my puppy got hit by a motorcycle.. when me and my siblings were small, we divided among ourselves each puppy and we named it.. that night, my puppy was the one who got hit.. it's leg was severely injured and the paw's bones were broken into many pieces.. the motorcyclist went away without even bother about the puppy.. typical human.. i cried out so loud as if somebody was dying.. but death was inevitable, few days after that, my puppy died.. huu~

my point is how can an animal, so small and for some, they are considered insignificant can really make a human's heart loving them dearly.. the words above are very true.. dogs, or animals in general, do not see you based on your looks, status or what work you do.. they see you for what you are.. they see you deep inside... and how is that?

remember the first time when you tried to hold a dog or a cat? (the one which not belong to you by birth of course.. ).. they are scared and feel very timid somehow.. they don't accept you easily.. but slowly, when you try to earn their trust, they will accept you too coz they see your determination.. they open up their hearts when you open up yours.. it is as simple as that folks!.. did they ask details about you so that only then they'll accept you.. no! they love you because you are you!do you feel me? (pinjam ayat Fr.Jojo dlu)

alas, if only human are this simple.. i think it is more challenging to have a brain than not having it.. i mean a brain that can think coz animal got brain too kan?.. but then, as mindless as they are, still they show us some of that any person can hardly have.. even i'm also lacking these virtues.. God has a special way to teach us and indirectly communicate to us.. if only we listen more and see things beyond the surface..

Live well people!

::Ad Astra Per Aspera

-into Your hand, i commit again...

2010-03-01T03:59:00.004+08:00

its been a while since my last time praying the rosary... my bad i know.. i somehow miss the feelings prayed the rosary with my friends back in matriculation.. why the sudden urge of praying the rosary?

it is Lent season now.. i felt that i didn't observe the importance and the essence of this season much more seriously like the way i should.. and there's a lot of fear and insecurities that been troubling my mind lately.. be it my relationship with God, family, love one and friends.. and society at large.. i'm not the kind of person who like to trouble others with my personal problems and i seldom talk about it to others though i always advise people to share theirs with someone.. shared joy is double the joy and shared sorrow is half the sorrow.. is what i'll say.. and i'll become what i do best.. a listener and giving my few cents worth of thought.. different people, different attitude.. how true is that..

to become someone's burden is the thing i hate the most but then i cannot avoid it.. and i feel sorry for these people especially my family.. me and my complexity issues.. somehow it made me think that these people are better off without me (not family of course).. seeing a half empty glass? maybe... well, i believe that everyone have their own issues and ideology and to make it compatible with the people surrounding is never that easy.. sometimes you have to give in and it will cost you, yourself or you have to stand firm and risk of being alone with your own belief.. either way, the stake is always high...

and one begin to wonder, why its always at times like this that a person will turns to God? but then, is it wrong? who else you can turn to then? for the comfort received by believing that God as our greatest healer is something that anyone must not doubt.. He'll heal the wounded hearts and be their source of strength.. and sorry as i am, for sometimes forgetting Him when its all over.. Sorry..

i'd talked about my insecurities about the future before in my previous post before.. now, the nearer it is for this sem to finish, the more worry i am about what will happen once i go out of this place.. some of my friends already have their own plan and i'm happy for them.. as for me, everything is still not certain yet and with the responsibilities that i have to bear once i become a working adult somehow keep reminding me that i should look out for the best.. and if not? i dare not to think..

whatever it is, its not the end of the world yet (its not yet 2012 bah..ho2).. global warming will still continues on and injustice to the indigenous people will hardly prevails.. life goes on..

emo post? neah.. (denial! denial!)

anyway, be happy and so you will always look younger( ada kaitan, jangan kau..)

and don't forget to pray for those who are affected by the natural disaster so they'll be strengthen in their time of difficulties.. amen..

be blessed dear readers...

-happy saturday...

2010-02-27T03:44:00.003+08:00

watch some movie the whole day and learned few things:

the person who gives you the most happiness is the one who also could gives you the deepest sorrow.
rage will only eat yourself and it won't affect the one who sparks it. (unless you do the physical contact of course)
in life, never expect that things would be fair.

blog hopping just now and found one interesting quote:

Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people worth the pain.

Erica Baican.

"nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands"

2010-02-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

SOMEWHERE I HAVE NEVER TRAVELLED, GLADLY BEYOND
by E.E CUMMINGS

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

:beautifully written, a masterpiece.. me like!

-23 years old friend of mine..

2010-02-20T15:52:00.002+08:00

hey buddy,
Happy Birthday!
i'm not sure that you'll be reading this,
err do you ever read your best friend blog by the way?
haha!
neway, you're older now.
a year older, a year wiser.
so they say. hehe.
i pray that you have a great life.
may God's blessings poured unto you.
you, my friend, is a good friend.
i'm sorry that i can't do a lavish event for you,
nor do i have expensive stuffs to give.
my present is i'll become an obedience friend today.
no huhahuha. no nagging.
hope you appreciate it.
hehe.
oh ya!
Happy 4th year anniversary of your relationship with Lucy.
steady dude and keep it goin strong!
yay!
love you my friend and be blessed!

-Valentine's Day...

2010-02-14T21:42:00.003+08:00

->>>> this post might sound cheesy to some people, so if you want to read it, read it with your own risk!! ^_^
.......................................................................................................................................

alas, the time for the celebration of love has come... erk, why this statement sound so wrong to me?? hmm.. it is as if that people are celebrating love only on V-day and all the other days are hmm well normal..

for me, of course every day you should show your love to your loved ones but then V-day is probably something more special kan.. it is like the reminder that you love someone coz maybe your someone don't realize it during any other day... a reminder to someone that they are dear to you and they have a special place in your heart.. well, who don't want to be reminded that there are someone who loves you right? hehe...

it is my first time celebrating Valentine's Day this year but the sad thing is we're not celebrating it together.. distance has been our divider and financial is our major concern.. both of us are still students and yea, we don't have much options..

Kay, i'm sorry that i couldn't be there with you and please know that i truly feel bad about it.. whatever it is, i miss you and i love you.. i'm happy that you're my other half and i pray that the future will be bright for our relationship.. the more i know you lately, the more proud i am of you.. though sometimes maybe i didn't show much of my feelings, rest assured that you are very dear to me and you have been a blessing.. remember that i'm want to be your pillar and lean on me whenever you need someone.. i promise not to always be by your side whenever you're in hardship coz i'm no superman.. but i promise i will do everything in my might to sustain you in your time of trials so that you can become a strong and aspiring person your own.. i have faith in you..

so Kay, happy Valentine's Day and SarangHae.. =)

and this post is my present to you...

-Tattoos...

2010-02-08T22:34:00.004+08:00

last friday, 5th February, my buddy got his first tattoo and its so neat and cool at the same time... he said it was worth the pain he had to endure.. so, buddy, next time its my turn aite (expensive maa got to work first.. huhu).. i hope this do help as remembrance of your first time getting a tattoo.. ^_^

Jesus Love!

and oh! i really like this shirt!! can't buy it so a photo with it is suffice.. huhu

-EIMT 2010...

2010-02-07T21:16:00.015+08:00

stand for Educational Interaction Malaysia-Thailand 2010...

Mineral Resources Eng. 4th Year

last week, from the 24th-31st Jan, the Fourth Year of Mineral Resources Engineering had a field trip to Thailand.. it was a great and very enjoying experience for us.. and yeah, a very tiring one too..

off we went...

this field trip was a collaboration with the Mining Department of Chulalongkorn University and we owed them a lot since they did a lot of preparations for us.. they had been a great help for us during our stay and journey in Thailand.. all of them were master students with the average age of 22-23 years old.. very young indeed.. and my special thanks to Keng their committee leader for working tirelessly with us to make this program a success...

inside the train

Day 1

we arrived after a long 23 hours of journey from Butterworth-Bangkok.. u should try it.. glad that the train had beds where we can sleep at night.. the journey didn't felt so long coz we enjoyed ourselves with playing cards, singing and yeah a bit of gossips to spice up a dull conversations.. hehe..

posing at Thailand's Railway station

some unique building designs from the art museum

they (CU Students) brought us to visit Jim Thompson's Museum and shopping at MBK.. there were other plenty other shopping complex within reach nearby (Siam Paragon!!)

do u know this Jim fella lost in Cameron Highlad.. in case you found him do give this museum a call.. (respons la a bit aiya)

beautiful lotus at the museum

Day 2

we went to Chulalongkorn University to visit their engineering faculty.. CU was ranked 78 in THEST and they told us that they never expect that.. but after looking at their facilities and their style of learning, they really deserve it..

journey to Pichit began later that evening..

Day 3

our first mine, Akara Mining.. it is a gold mine and a big one too.. putting all the facts and informations aside, its a very educational (skemakan i.. huhu)

with my CU friends

Ice and Anuch, Reng women!! hehe...

then leave to Lumpang in the evening...

Day 4

it was the first coal mine and yet the largest we possibly could see for us, MR students... Mae Moh Mine.. the mine is so vast that it reached kilometres away from one end to another and hundred metres in depth.. a magnifecent view though.. they are responsible to supply electric energy to a large demand in Thailand..

me at the hostel compound.. feel like autumn right? hehe

overall view of the mine.. i told cha it is vast...

posing cket.. hehe

jex posing

then leave to Tak...

Day 5

went to a zinc mine own by Padaeng Industry.. a well planned and organised mine the way i see it...

some pics in the mine area

mine view

Day 6

went to the smelting plant of Padaeng Industry.. i can remeber back all the knowledge that i learnt and see it with my very own eyes the detail processes in metal extraction..

me and Ice

royal symbol made of zinc

after that, we went to a feldspar mine.. a small one only..

yup.. we dunno how to read the sign board.. huhu

at the feldspar desert, mind you it was hell hot that time..

then, come the fun part.. we visited a, hmm i'm not sure, a park, a rehabilitation place, or whatever but the place was really beautiful... few thing about all the mines that we had visited were they really take care of the environment surround them and that including the society too.. they didn't ignored their social obligations which is a good thing.. they have long concerned regarding the sustainable development and yet in some part of our country, we're still talking about it! hmm...

me and Jex with the lush green forest

and again... =p

it felt so heavenly..

all the distances from each mine were hundred kilometers away from one another.. imagine travelling like that for one whole week.. massage? of course Thailand was well known for their massages.. we did want to have one coz the price at one of the place was dead cheap only 250 baht for 90 minutes.. its 25 myr people.. cheap right?!! but then, we booked it lated and the masseur didn't come.. adui sayangnya... other kind of massage? don't ask me.. don't know.. i'm a good boy bha.. don't know such thing.. ehhee (though there's a lot of taxi driver who promoted us to go to Patpong, we didn't go).. hehe

Day 7

we had a conference and a cultural exchange session with them.. we watched a very graceful and exquisite performance by the high school students.. of course, the guys were paying their attention to the fullest.. ehhe...

they are all pretty kan??

we did a great performance too i guess.. well, we were the ambassadors of Malaysia's culture after all.. hehe.. we performed the dances from the Malay, Chinese and Indian community and followed by a dance using the Malaysia Truly Asia song.. very cool right?

my dance mate at the back, Ex, credit to her for some of the photos here

what about dances from Borneo u might ask.. as a Borneon boy, of course i want to introduce our culture too.. hehe.. we did a short performance of Sumazau dance and then we invited all people to join us along.. its an easy and merry dance.. even the Thai people learnt it easily.. we had a happy time...

Bornean at Thailand!! YAY!!

after the session finished, we went back to our hotel err still with our own costumes (with some of my friends).. hey, its really cool you know to walk around with the traditional costumes in a foreign country where people look at you with where-on-earth-these-people-coming-from kind of look.. moreover, i'm wearing the sumazau costume ok.. borneo costume err people rarely wear it outside in the public.. imagine you wear the orang ulu costume with the cawat and all the other regalia, walla!! you are sure to have everyone attention on the street.. however, its a good thing you do it in a foreign country..hehe.. nobody will capture your photo and send it to The Star..

no, if you're thinking we're giving maggi mee from Malaysia to them, you're probably right.. no lah inside got antique labu sayung bha..

YEAH!! CHULA FIGHTING!!

these are my cool friends!!

later that evening, i went to MBK alone coz i want to meet Theressa.. she's Burmese friend that i met during SALT last year.. i got a chocolate ice cream treat and a small present too!! yay!!

in front of Siam Paragon...

hardworking Theressa...hehe

at night, we went to have a dinner on a cruise and the best thing was for only 500 baht ok!! that was like less 50% than the original price for one person.. the food were yummy (mind you, all of us were gaining weight there..adoh!!), then the view along the river was mesmerising especially when we passed the grand palace..(it's a big palace ok)..

Day 8

went to Chathuchak market (not sure whether the spelling correct or not) for shopping and i found out that i was overwhelmed with disbelief with the unbelievable cheap prices of the stuffs there.. you can even bargain for cheaper price for the stuffs you like.. whoah!! my eyes and my body were like; i want this! i want that too! oh there's another!!!... huhu.. yeah, its that cheap..and the fashion style of shirts there are cool too.. so, basically many of us brought back quite a lot of stuffs.. remember, next time you go Bangkok, make sure you bring just a few shirts so later when you go back you can fill your case with a whole lot of new clothes..hehe...

with Yin and Anuch in Tuk Tuk.. cool experience

it was a sad departure from Bangkok (i even hurt my own finger as the sign of my sadness.. duh.. sign of my clumsiness to be exact).. their hospitality were great and we enjoyed ourselves very much during the whole trip.. Thailand is indeed The Land of Smile!!

coz i'll be leaving on a railway train..dunno when i'll be back again.. oh babe, i have to go..

:leaving on a railway train.. =)

on another story, there was this one night i went out alone outside our hotel and walked along the pedestrian in the city.. what so special about that huh? hehe..with a cup of maggi mee in my hand and a can of beer to complete it..hoho.. i always wanted to walk in a city while eating mee in the cup and just walked around not bothering anyone.. it was a great feeling for me since it was my first time doing that.. i want to do that again next time.. i wanna go back there again.. yay!!

Cheers!!!

-Sawadeekap...

2010-02-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

so, at last our field trip to Thailand ended last Sunday and yay!!! it was a blast!! it is obvious that i've been neglecting my blog for the last few months.. it is either i'm really busy or i'm just procrastinating.. hmm i'm somewhere in the middle.. yet, the last few months were the time where i really had some of the greatest moments in my life.. yeap, will blog about it later folks.. now need to catch up with some other stuffs..

(excuses.. i know.. haha)

k chiaow!!!

-vurnerable

2010-01-17T15:56:00.000+08:00

often in life,
people say they are okay when they are not,
they act strong,
yet they are very fragile inside,
they hide the pain,
but pain is all their heart,
in denial they are,
but they have reasons,
sure they have,
a thief would not steal for nothing,
nor do a mom when she scolds her kids,
people are vulnerable,
we all are,
we can be as soft as a cotton candy,
or as hard as the rocky mountains,
and only the heart knows why...

Everywhere I look I see her smile
Her absent-minded eyes
And she has kept me wondering for so long
How this thing could go wrong.

It seems to me that we are both the same
Playing the same game
But as darkness falls this true love falls apart Into a riddle of her heart.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt the one I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Days like these no one should be alone
No heart should hide away
Her touch is gently conquering my mind
There's nothing words can say.

She's coloured all the secrets of my soul
I've whispered all my dreams
But just as nighttime falls this vision falls apart
Into a riddle of her heart, yea.

She's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
She's so vulnerable and I don't understand
I could never hurt someone I love
She's all I've got
But she's so vulnerable
Oh so vulnerable.

Don't hide your eyes...

:::ROXETTE:::

-i got one paper left and i'm happy about it...

2009-11-15T01:46:00.004+08:00

sometimes we think that the world revolves around us,
its like we're the nucleus of our family or our league of friends,
but then,
its not...
the world is still spinning round and round,
and we on the other hand,
have our own cycle of life that keep turning round and round too,
either it will spin slow or fast,
it is beyond our control,
the ups and downs, that's it,
then it will spin again,
so we just have to wait what is in store for us,
but that makes everything great, isn't it?
the non linear life, that will fluctuate every now and then,
its the real life, its good when its not perfect sometimes,
coz we may deem it to be special later,
we may diverge from the right path occasionally,
why?
coz sometimes the things outside the line is so tempting,
that is very hard to resist, irresistible,
but wait, it may be good in a certain way,
we'll experienced more about life,
the rights and wrongs of it,
then, we'll go back to the 'right' path once again,
oh wait! how do we know that the path we're following is right,
maybe there are other paths that might be better, oh yea worse maybe,
but then that's what we called exploration,
Christopher Columbus can't pride himself to be the first man to discover America,
if it wasn't due to the exploration that he and his team made,
so let's become our own explorer,
who will courageously discover the true meaning of life,
our true self,
in our very own perspectives and light...

owh ya, i just let my fingers dancing on this lappy's keyboard... so ya, i'm in the state of where i don't know why i'm writing this and on what basis...

but then, who'll bother right? chow...

-WTH!! land for dams and oil palm? how about the people??

2009-11-06T21:31:00.002+08:00

Borneo natives in stand-off with oil-palm giant

By STEPHEN THEN

MIRI: A stand-off between a group of more than 500 Kenyah minority natives and an oil-palm giant over a land-dispute in Long Koyan settlement in the Belaga district in central Sarawak has reached a boiling point.

The oil-palm company, a subsidiary of a Miri-based land development consortium, had allegedly bulldozed its way into a plot of land to open up an access road into areas earmarked for an oil-palm plantation.

The natives claimed that the area targeted for clearing was their native customary rights land, inherited from their ancestors.

The company claimed that it has been given the concession right by the State Land and Survey Department to develop the land.

Over the past two days, workers from the company had ploughed their way through a plot of farmland adjacent to the native’s longhouse despite desperate attempts by the villagers to stop them.

The natives have lodged police reports against the workers for trespassing on their farms and uprooting their fruit trees, but they claimed that the police were siding with the company and were helping to provide security escort to its workers.

Long Koyan chief Tuai Rumah Nyalang Tahe had to seek help from the Borneo Resources Institute, a community-rights group.

The institute’s executive director Mark Bujang on Friday said the Long Koyan natives were very angry with the company for infringing upon their land.

“The company workers had started clearing works despite appeals from the affected villagers. The natives said they have NCR status on the land.

“They have lodged numerous police reports, but no action has been taken,” he said.

for more click here!!

-a mother's love....

2009-11-04T22:31:00.002+08:00

Mother marches 2,000km to save son

A 55-year-old woman in central China marched a total of 2,000km in seven months to lose weight and save the life of her son.

According to Bernama, which quoted China's Xinhua news agency Wednesday, Chen Yurong walked about 10km a day after being told her 31-year-old son, Ye Haibin, needed a liver transplant.

Her liver was not suitable because it had accumulated too much fat, doctors had told her in February.

In an effort to get her liver into shape, Chen marched along a dyke near her home in Jiang'an District, Hubei Province, everyday. She also went on a diet, only eating rice and vegetables.

She eventually lost 8kg. On Oct 19, doctors said her liver had reached the standard for the transplant.

In a 14-hour operation at the Tongji Hospital under Huazhong University of Science and Technology in Wuhan, the provincial capital, on Tuesday, Chen gave part of her liver to her son.

for more click here!!

God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

-in the spirit of unity, shall we?

2009-10-30T03:12:00.004+08:00

Marina, is an excellent student who managed to obtained a good results in her SPM last year (9As 1B, even my results were not as good as her)... she has a mixed blood of Iban (father) and Chinese (mother), and thought that she's a bumiputera all this while... ouh correction, was a bumiputera.. she found out that she's not a bumiputera when her application to go to a matriculation program was rejected by the Ministry of Education simply because err, she's not a bumiputera (but she's an Iban considering the fact that her father is an Iban)

this is according to a definition used by the Student Intake Management Division, Higher Learning Department and Higher Education Ministry.

Their definition is as follows:

• Semenanjung – “Jika salah seorang ibu atau bapa calon adalah seorang Melayu yang beragama Islam/Orang Asli seperti mana yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 160(2) Perlembagaan Persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If either parent of a candidate is a Malay who is a Muslim/Orang Asli as defined in Article 160 (2) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera.)

• Sabah – “Jika bapa calon adalah seorang Melayu yang beragama Islam/Peribumi Sabah seperti yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 161A(6)(a) Perlembagaan Persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If the father of the candidate is a Malay who is a Muslim/native of Sabah as defined by Article 161A(6)(a) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera.)

• Sarawak – “Jika bapa dan ibu adalah seorang Peribumi Sarawak seperti mana yang ditakrifkan dalam Perkara 161A(6)(b) Perlembagaan persekutuan; maka anaknya adalah dianggap seorang Bumiputera.” (If the father and mother is a native of Sarawak as defined under Article 161A(6)(b) of the Federal Constitution, the child is considered a Bumiputera).

to read more of her story, click here!

it's hard to live in the society nowadays,
if your are stupid, life would be hard,
if your are intelligent, doesn't mean life is like a bed of roses for you,
coz in the end of the day,
sometimes, yeap "just sometimes",
its who you are that make the differences,
be it your family background, race or religion,
all these play a big role in determining the path of your life,
sometimes...

if this is 1Malaysia as being shouted here and there,
why is there still differences between us, as in the above definitions,
i know and deeply realize that if it is not because of this the natives/bumiputra (err earthprince?) will surely need a lot of catch up to do,
but how about those nonbumi who really deserves to be given chances,
aren't they Malaysian too, who someday will contribute to the nation economy,
to serve their people, society and country too?
why are they not having the same opportunities as someone who really deserving it?
and the chance for them to give back something to their country once they succeeded?

why everything must be based on race/religion aa?
will it make you having certain kind of special traits based on your race/religion?
coz i believe that its you, yourself that determines the capabilities you have within you..

i'm a Malaysian, a Sarawakian and owh ya a bumiputra too...
but my aspiration might as well the same as those nonbumi,
to be a able to success in my life,
and to serve my fellow men and country....

SAY NO TO RACISM!!!!

-Aaahh i seriously forgot!!!!

2009-10-28T03:23:00.002+08:00

click pic for source

my blog was already two years old last 18th...
thanks for dearest loyal readers,
i'll keep it short, so,
HAPPY BELATED BURFDAY TO MR BLOG!!!

-sigh~

2009-10-28T02:19:00.002+08:00

-sometimes....

2009-10-26T01:41:00.003+08:00

sometimes we have to swallow the bitterness of life to taste its sweetness...
sometimes love is not all about showing it, but rather realizing it is deep inside...
sometimes the littlest act changes people...
sometimes its all about endurance...
sometimes we have to be in the losing side...
sometimes to put other first is the best thing to do...
sometimes its always like that...

sometimes life is like that...

sometimes...

-a reminder...

2009-10-26T01:04:00.008+08:00

I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed.

I have the Holy Spirit Power. The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded.
I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow,

My way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity,
negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity,
or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I’ve preached up,
prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I must go until He returns, give until I drop,
preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear for......

"I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.." (Romans 1:16)

source: received via email...

=)

2009-10-23T22:45:00.004+08:00

they might not need me; but they might.
i'll let my head be just in sight;
a smile as small as mine might be
precisely their necessity.

-Emily Dickinson

click pic for source...

-rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju!!!!

2009-10-21T05:04:00.003+08:00

o yeah! i forget, congratulation to Malaysia who is going to have a holiday on 16th September next year... after so long Malaysia exists.. but, it's never to late to have hols aite??!! hehe

Happy Malaysia's Day in advance for all Malaysians!!!!!

-kucing hitam itu comel juga...

2009-10-21T04:42:00.002+08:00

since my other friends are still editing, allow me to merepek some more.. like la ada orang gago.. wanna noe sumthin a big shit fell on me last week... while i was on my way to Tnjg. Malim, i was shocked to be informed that our exam will be finishing on 18th Nov.. the real shit is i already bought a flight ticket back to Kuching on da 13th.. shit rite??!!

n now i dunno wat to do, don't have the guts to let fam noe coz it will mean that i need more money to buy new ticket.. n money is the root of all problem.. haha.. cliche.. but nvm, there's always another way.. hmm..

o yeah, another shit, my olympus cam buat problem also.. adoi.. why la broken at time like this.. mana la got time to send to kedai for repair.. hmm...

there are three things i'm looking forward to this coming holiday (in particular order of occurrence);

S.A.L.T Program at Ulu Belaga (an exposure that i really need)
meeting ms. Abau (can't wait!!!)
balik kampung to Belaga with family (after so long haven't going back to my father's ville)

so are these are three things that my heart can't wait to step my feet on Sarawak... mo balik!! but exam around the corner d.. o yeah, driving license also.. which spells money! money! too... adei, byk mo gna duit..

hmm, but life is short to worry about stuffs, let's get mad n rule the world!!! hahaha!!!

-design oo design...

2009-10-21T04:29:00.002+08:00

flash news:

it's now 4.30 a.m and i'm still at the cafe with my group members doing design assignment.
yesterday finished at 6 a.m something...
class is at 9 a.m. hope i'll be able to wake up.
a friend upload a pic of me sleeping with mouth open in fb. malu oo...
n another friend tagged my gf on it.. super duper malu once more..
but nvm.. biarla malu.. huhu..

-things i try to comprehend...

2009-10-14T03:28:00.004+08:00

i'm not the best person when it's come to love,

it's not my forte, yet it's not weakness too,
i'm not an experienced lover, i'm still a learner.

i'm,
learning how to open up myself much more freely,
learning how to accept and care of the new person in my life,
learning how to trust and to have faith on someone,
learning how to give my commitment and expect nothing in return,
learning how to love, unconditionally,
there's a lot to learn,
and i'm learning.

i always believe that honesty is one of the key to a good relationship,
to become honest with yourself is the first step,
to your spouse is the next one,
because when you're being honest,
you reveal the core of your being;
your weaknesses, vulnerabilities and insecurities,
your strength, confidences and capabilities,
so then there's no more room for doubt,
coz the other person will accept you for who you truly are.

it's not easy to build a strong friendship,
and it's not easy to build a solid relationship either,
it needs two hands to produce a clap,
for we are two persons,
but with one strong mutual feelings,
we gonna make it work,
let's do it now!

-c'est la vie!!!

2009-10-13T16:25:00.004+08:00

i read a story of a couple who is on a mission to cycle around the world to promote the awareness about the need to protect the environment...

to read about it, click here...

i've always wanted a care free life, without worrying about anything and enjoying my life to the fullest.. and i wanted a life with a purpose too.. living with a purpose they say... hmm...

i never know whether i could live like the way i've been dreaming of but i'll try to make it somehow... in the beginning of course there's a need to stabilize my life, or our lives if my spouse is joining, in term of of financial and assets.. well, i might as well become a sleeping partner in any company one day if i got money to invest... easier for me to go here and there without worrying about anything (of course if the company is doing good).. hehe...

i don't want to imagine myself wake up in the morning and drag my feet off to work, work tirelessly during the day, then go back and face traffic jam, spend the night just at home in my late 40's (if i have a family i'll make sure all my children big already la, and independent, their parents want to have a life too what.. hehe)... i don't want a routine life, that repeat itself every single day in my twilight years... seriously...

i want to be in new places, meeting new people, doing odd or crazy stuffs, spread the love and doing things that i'll might regret or cherish in my later days.. huhu.. coz life isn't going to repeat itself.. and i don't want to miss even a small part of it...

this is a young man's dream.. i hope i'll be able to read this once again perhaps 25-30 years from now and remember this dream of mine...

i'll end up with some words excerpt from the news;

the couple has a piece of advice for materialistic souls:
“Life is not just about money. There are many things to do and see in the world.
“We should make time for ourselves to enjoy the world we live in,”

i'll make time... i will.. =)

-Abau's story...

2009-10-05T04:20:00.005+08:00

it's been a while...
yeap it is.. among the reasons why i'm so lazy updating my blog is coz my blog got a problem, if u notice my blogger friends' links not functioning... so kinda lost the enthusiasm of blogging b'coz of this..

excuses... i know, i know...

well, many things had changed for the past few weeks, owh did i mention major drastic change?? it all begin during the Raya hols, we went to the ICG at Johore, and guess what? i received the biggest surprise that i could never think of... there's this girl hmm let's call her abau for a while...

oh yeah, btw ICG was super fun, educational and memorable... oh i forgot embarrassing too.. why? coz i was chosen as a representative of my diocese to become a runaway model... oh no, i don't do modelling.. my friends had to do it too.. kind of "paksa rela" thinggy.. for the sake of my final year memories, i'm ready to be booed by people, read: guys only.. hehe.. adei, seriously that time i felt like i wanna hide myself under the curtain, but there was no curtain around, so being a professional, (its ok if u feel u wanna puke, that's my intention anyway hehe) i had to walk confidently on the stage... result? i didn't won it.. as expected aite.. hoho..

there were plenty of other memories too, but i guess i'm the only one would be so ecstatic about it..

oh yeah, regarding abau, well, she's the girl that i fond of before ICG.. she's still doing her practical at Miri for the time being, so i wouldn't expect to meet her at Johore.. but then, there she was that night, surprising me with her presence.. at first sight, i thought i saw an angel, but then i realize she's an abau.. abau is hantu or ghost btw... but she's a special kind of abau..

to make a very very very long story short, i confessed my feelings to her the next night... ahaha.. it's not a sudden or rush decision oo.. i thought about it way earlier but i never thought i would met her that early.. yeah, there were few sweet words and moments during my confession in front on Mother Mary's Grotto that time.. even God was at my side, the night were cold and serene, a perfect condition for an unexpected confession from me.. huhu.. nervous? of course i am.. but God gave me strength, thanks..

the words that i used? yada yada yada.. can ask her later but i doubt it if she still remember.. hehe.. but the last words were err "would you be my other half?".. i don't know where i got that from, blame the tv.. huhu.. n she quietly answered, yes.. a very quite one that i had to ask her to say it a bit louder.. haha.. so there it was, the moment of my first love begun.. 12.02 am 21st/09/09... today is the 2nd week already.. =)

well, if you think i'm cheesy enough to write about this in my blog, well i am.. love make you more childish isn't it.. i'm doing all the things that i never thought i would before.. guess that's what they call it the power of love.. ehee... kan cyg? haha..

oh yeah, that girl, that abau, her name is Kay.. my Kay, my abau and my girl.. if you ever reading this abau, never doubt my feelings, for you are my first love.. the one that i seek for a long time...
guess that we're now walking hand in hand in this road of life... let's hope we'll walk to the end of it.. the future may be uncertain, but i believe it's me and it's you that will make everything.. God is willing...

cyg u... =)

-looking for the right person?

2009-09-16T01:44:00.002+08:00

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
This is a very good article.

Those who are still single may learn something from here.
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage...

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, could drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go." So, spent your lifetime finding out the loveable things about your spouse so that you could LOVE your spouse everyday in every way in an EVERLASTING marriage. That is why granpa's love to your granma seems so PURE.

Remember, you are with the "RIGHT" person. If not, you wouldn't have wanted to marry your spouse in the first place.

source obtained from the net... for sharing purpose only...

-few reasons...

2009-09-14T12:29:00.003+08:00

among the reasons why i love my family;
coz they said this to me:
"mun ko susah, jangan takut mok madah, biar kita sama2 susah"
trnsltn: "if you are in hardship, don't be afraid to tell, let's face hardship together"

among the reasons why i love my best friend;
coz he said this to me:
"mun ko susah, jangan takut, kawan kau kan ada"
trnsltn:"if you are in hardship, don't be afraid, your friend is here"

among the reasons why i love my God after all this;
coz He said this to me:
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

-in my so called rich state...

2009-08-24T11:54:00.003+08:00

Church sends out SOS over food crisis in Sarawak interior

By STEPHEN THEN

MIRI: The Catholic Church here has sent out an urgent appeal to the public to help little children and adults who are facing acute food shortage in the remote Kapit Division in central Sarawak.

The food shortage in the Kapit Division has worsened and the people have sent out another appeal for immediate help.

The Miri Catholic Church, which has received urgent appeal from the folks there, is urging parishioners and the public to help these people who are living from hand to mouth every day.

“The children are the most badly affected by the food shortage.

“We appeal to the public to donate to these rural people who are in need,” he said.

for details, click this

***************************************************

this is my rich state, proud for its oil and gas, timber and tourism,

and this is reality,

where there are still people who barely could eat per plate in a day,

wth are the leaders really doing?

after years of independence, the government still couldn't afford to give the people enough food,

ironic,

especially for those who really in need of it,

their natives land being robbed, their rights are being ignored,

what more can i say,

i believe this is not new,

well, this is my state,

and this is the glorious one Malaysia!

while others think we are living in such a rich country,

they forget about these people....

they really forget...

-my secret place

2009-08-18T03:06:00.003+08:00

i read a shout out by a friend of mine which stated that he missed to lay on the school's track while watching the stars above.. me too am missing the same thing...

our high school has a track which is located at the back of our dorm (its so near that you can reach there within a few minutes)... its a great place and i believe if it can talk, it will share the stories of all the students who had put their feet on the top of its red, coarse track..

last time during form 5, i was having quite a hard life.. at that time there's so many problems that i faced and being a teenager who still learn on how to cope up with stuffs like that, i sometimes found out problems were hard to solve...

then, there it was, the track that had been a great companion during the lonesome and troubles night...

i always went there in the middle of the night.. it was complete dark with a total silence.. well, not really; sometimes the noise from the dorms can be heard from afar.. but it did felt serene and safe.. and i laid down there, sometimes for hours, just looking at the sky which was blessed with million of stars... and it was beautiful...

i am healed again... beneath the christmas alike tree, everything seems so perfect and reminded me that everything were going to be okay.. and it were..

nowadays, its hard to find a place like that anymore.. a place where you wanna run when the tides are against you.. a place where you can search for miracles within your soul and find the remedies for all the troubles that come.. a place which is comfortable and reminds you, that you are still alive... and should be kicking!!

the track was my secret place, only one people knew about it that time.. and he's my best friend now...

perhaps one day may be i should go back there again, to lay down and to immerse in my own world once again...

----------------------------------------------------------------
Let me take you to
My secret place
High above the earth
Into out of space
Only God knows where
Only God knows how
I will take you there
Somehow
~last day of your life -Glass Pear

-H1N1 Parody...

2009-08-12T15:01:00.001+08:00

this is super funny ok..

don't believe me meh, try watch la....

-Corinthians 13-

2009-08-11T01:00:00.006+08:00

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

as i grow older,

i would be lying to say if i say i don't feel alone,

yeah, sometimes i do,

i do need to be loved and love too,

i'm a big boy already,

i am...

its a risk to fall into love,

the fear of your fragile heart might break later,

but its the risk that everyone should take,

for what its worth,

it'll mature you no matter how,

sometimes we should know that story not necessarily have a happy ending,

life isn't a fairy tale,

its the journey of the life itself, the story line,

that made it significant, that made it special,

happiness and sadness may follow along the way,

that's the recipe of life after all,

one cannot exist without the existence of the other,

its a dual intervention to life,

alas for me,

i'll wait for you,

coz i know now you're waiting for me too,

and we'll see where this road will lead us,

will we be walking together along a single road,

or will we be walking a different road upon arriving a junction,

we wouldn't know,

now let's just walk, hand in hand,

knowing that we still have each other,

that would be enough for now...

miss you!!!

2009-08-10T04:45:00.004+08:00

This is something we should all read at least once a week!

Written By ReginaBrett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about..
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it..
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i received this one in my inbox just now and found its so wonderful. so i wanna share it with you guys.. =)

i hope i'll never learnt this stuffs only when i'm old.. i want to learn it now and live a contented life..

u guys should too...

be loved!

-you're so beautiful...

2009-08-08T01:18:00.003+08:00

beauty is,
when you are comfort under your own skin,
when you treat your self with respect and pride,
when you are being honest and true,
when you are being the only, none other than yourself...

************************************************************************

i lied if i said i don't like hot or pretty girls, my ideal girl is Adriana Lima,
yes i do like them, sometimes, i'm human and yeap a guy too,
i have eyes for beauty queen, i always believe that,
coz whenever i watched a beauty pageant,
the one i picked would surely be the top 5, the top 3 and yeah sometimes the winner...

but one thing for sure,
the beauty i seek is not beauty just to the face,
its the beauty of the heart,
beauty of the face would be a bonus if she has it,
i remembered having crush to girls who behave differently than others,
in a good way of course,
whose characters portrayed her heart,
either its good or bad,
that's another story,
for me, the basic rule for human is to be yourself and love it,
its just that simple...

beauty is subjective they say,
which is for me very true,
there's none girl in this whole world which everyone agree she's beautiful,
which would make beauty is objective then,
a girl who is pretty to your eyes not necessarily will look pretty to mine,
and the one who you deem not pretty might be pretty to me,
not necessarily, hhmmm,
we can agree on one point, or we can argue about it,
like this post too,
it is written by my perspective,
the things written here may sometimes be biased,
according to how you see it...
its you who decide how you perceive the thing you see!!

alas,
for me,
i ask not for a beauty queen,
or whose talents so great that would become an envy of others,

i just want someone honest,
someone who can show me there's more to her than what i can see,
the one who will make me a better man,
and someone who will become a good mother,
that's all...

****************************************************************************
this morning going to have my driving lesson,
at last...

-in a week...

2009-08-06T22:51:00.002+08:00

29.07.09
-campus closed due to H1N1.
-other campuses informed they couldn't make it to the concert.
-night had meeting. decision: canceled the concert. hard but for the best interest of all.

30.07.09
-went to Bukit Bendera with Mickey, Lucy and her sister Michelle. not so great coz stranded at the top and only came down after 3 hours. arghh...

31.07.09
-watched Merlin at room and lazying around at room...

01.08.09
-supposedly the date of the concert but what to do. sad but life must go on.
-went to church to refund ticket's money to people.
-waiting with Mike while the girls went shopping.
-and yeah.. Happy Friendship Day!!!

02.08.09
-continued my Merlin adventure.

03.o8.o9
-received present from Mickey.a metal liquor bottle. the one you always saw in cowboy movie bah. don't know what to do with it but it sure looks nice. haven't got something for him. =(

04.08.09
-lazying around again.
-discovered something big.

05.08.09
-last holiday.
-did assignments. yeah, i know at last something got to do with study.

o6.08.09
-many class canceled.
-got energy to type something.

-void...

2009-07-16T19:47:00.003+08:00

this month is going to be hell,
not that i'm committing sinful acts,
but its so busy that sometimes i can't keep my mind sane,
no, no, i'm not going crazy,
more tense and emo, that's maybe,
with all the industrial reports due next week,
and industrial presentation end of this month,
and most of all,
the things that drained me the most,
the Concert Carnival Project,
whoah, how i'm suppose to have a nice sleep (though i do have one),
life so far is not a bed of roses but rather a fast pace video games,
different is, video games have pause while my life don't,
how i'm suddenly in love with August and can't wait for her presence,
but to o God i pray,
that everything will falls into places,
as it will...

and for a person who makes my day always,
thank you,
i pray to Lord someday we'll meet,
and settle the things we suppose to settle,
and we'll wait, we wait together aite.. =)

--silly thoughts....

2009-07-11T04:08:00.003+08:00

i want to be naive,
i want to be innocent,
i want to be pure,
i want to be child like,
coz sometimes the world terrifies me,
and i want to see it without actually knowing it...
************************************************************
sometimes the one we hold dear,
we must let go,
and let them walk their paths,
coz we should bear in mind,
they know where they are heading...
************************************************************
you play with love,
it feels so good to be true,
you play with your heart,
sometimes bliss is all you felt,
you play with love,
it hurts and its painful,
you play with your heart,
sometimes misery is what you get...
***********************************************************
pretending of not knowing,
is pretty hard when you actually know it,
the things that one don't want you to know and yet you know,
so how can you pretend of not knowing...
***********************************************************

~and then i laughed, i just laughed,
coz there's thing that i'm hiding~

-21 Guns...

2009-07-10T12:47:00.003+08:00

this song is dedicated to myself... it just that sometimes i'm sick of fighting... i am..
i can be tired too...

21 Guns lyrics
Songwriters: Armstrong, Billie Joe; Bowie, David; Pritchard, Michael; Wright, Frank E., Iii;

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

-Secret...

2009-07-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

i just realize how i hate to know someone's else secret...
especially those who are close to me...
i really dislike the fact that it must be kept as a secret to the person that i know the person's secret so the person wouldn't know that i know the secret the person been keeping...
as much as i hate if people knew my secret, i deeply understand how people hate it when they knew somebody else knew their secrets...
that's what secret is...
it always remains like that..

FORK!! its a pain in the chest i really can't talk about the secret to that person coz i'm deeply concerned about the effects of the secret to the person..

yeah, sometimes i can be overly protective...

but now i'm hopeless... how i wish i didn't discover it on the first place...

i can't give you details coz its a secret... so, you know...

-Hari Bapak...

2009-06-22T22:07:00.004+08:00

Pak,

i have a confession to make,

i hope you never read this,

seriously....

the thing is,

i love someone more than i love you,

yeah, i know u are my bapak,

but pak, i love you less than i love her,

that's the truth,

and it will always be like that,

my feelings for her will never alter...

we had a rough relationship,

hmm, its your fault,

ok, mine too, we both are two stubborn guys,

we just have to admit it,

that's where her role come,

comforting as she is,

like a bridge that connect us both,

that's why i love her...

you know...

but Pak,

i love you too,

it just a little less,

i know your hardship,

i hope you see mine too,

and i know you did,

you struggle a lot,

work a lot,

you did what a father should do,

you wanna try your best,

and i know sometimes the situations are against you,

so chill for a while Pak,

hang on there,

everthing will change,

put your trust on your son,

he know what he's doing ok..

so Pak,

the woman just now,

i love her more,

and i know you love her so much too,

luckily we don't have to fight to get her attention,

Mak, we love you,

Pak, Happy Father's Day...

My Beloved Parents...

-u r way so beautiful for me girl... (girls)

2009-06-19T23:05:00.001+08:00

few words...

i'm extravaganza happy!!!

and don't jealous aa...

hehe

2009-06-15T21:53:00.003+08:00

it amused me when i read today's Borneo Post.. it was regarding the comment made by Dr. Wan Junaidi citing that Sarawak's MP are somehow debate shy.. i found that somehow true considering the polical climate in Sarawak is rather cloudy rather than bright sunny politics.. they ussually like to use the safe card to the utmost.. but when issue like this arises, its only then you can see the MPs being so vocal.. making a fuss that the comment was not correct..again the safe card coz they don't want to the public to think that they are some bunch of lazy MPs who rather shy to discuss about their constituencies problems.. which is probably true in a way.. huhu..

want to find those who are not debate shy.. go to the kampung and find the drinking spot of the comunity surrounding it.. if you ask them, they can give you a long list of Sarawak's problems and what suppose to be done to counter it.. who says drunk people are useless.. in a way they think seriously of issues pertaining to them oh well only when they are drunk.. but then again, they are what people call drunkers.. but how about those MPs ask them what the real issues and discuss them in the state level.. that's why they being voted for after all..

i know not all MPs are useless.. some are good.. but what i've been thinking is that older people always asked us to see the other side of things and accept things critically and constructively.. but then, when it happen to them.. oppss... i dunoo..

my few cents worth of thoughts..
ok la.. enuf politics.. it never end after all..

k chaow.. wanna buy KFC if its still open...

-old McDonal had a farm... e i e i o....

2009-06-10T22:32:00.003+08:00

there's many things which are beyond our control,
certain event occurs because it follows the nature of the law,
for instance;
if i'm sleepy in the morning (every morning to be exact).
i can't help it but to be sleepy,
even the so called strong caffeine coffee which been hailed as
something that could keep humans awake made no effect on me.
yes, this is an example.

we live everyday without being certain of what could happen the next minute,
that's the surprise.
but sometimes when we enter the working world, in a certain niche,
some days are predictable,
the routine will continue on and on, if there are changes,
well, it don't give much different,
oh a headache maybe.
so where's the challenge in that?
hhmmm...

**************************************************************
if someone think living alone is great,
well, think again,
or someone who is talkative like me,
no, i'm a quite one,
its quite a tornment.
every night is the same thing,
thanks God for friends who kind enough to visit.
and yeah, the laptop too.
oh how do i live without you miss lappy?
i'll surely die.
NOT.
i'll just get bored . that's all.

but being alone make me think much.
and appreciate more the presence of others.
my family. my friends.
those who i can tease and those who i can fight with.
someone to talk craps and someone to discuss of ideal thoughts.

****************************************************************

i'm in the cc.
so i don't quite know what i should write.
so pardon me.

and yeah,
i'm watching Dara Manisku on NTV 7.

-aku kangen bangat sama si kleo-

-no no no, i'm not d***k...

2009-06-06T17:04:00.003+08:00

last night was great, fun and yeah a bit drunk..
haha..
went to Simpok celebrating a friend's birthday cum Gawai visiting...
being a bit tipsy.. err ya a bit tipsy with close friends had different feelings...
since we know each other so much, so the jokes were basically endless..
yeah especially for those who were intoxicated.. i'm not.. no, i'm not in the state of denial..
okay, half way la.. aish..
but drinking shouldn't be often,
there's time and place for it ok children...

(covering up the bad side of me i know.. haha)

k, that's all kot for now.. not really in the mood for blogging since i'm now in the cc.. no privacy ok..

daa.. don't drink and drive..

-IN RUSH!

2009-04-24T15:02:00.000+08:00

GOING BACK HOME TODAY
NO INTERNET CONNECTION AT HOME
SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO REPLY ANYTHING.
WISH ME LUCK FOR MY LI.

AND YEAH.
HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY AND

KUCHING

HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!

-the letter...

2009-04-20T18:41:00.004+08:00

i received a letter today, err just now, few moments ago,
its been quite a long time since i last received a letter from someone,
what kind of letter you might ask,
is it a love letter, is it a formal letter,
or is it a chain letter, hoho...
neah, its a letter from a friend, a distance friend,
and thanks,
the letter made my day,
God is a great joker someone told me once,
He knew i'm going to have a rough week,
3 papers of 3 units in a row,
starting from tomorrow,
made me feel very sorrow,
(darn i can't help it to make it rhyme bro.. opps i did it again)
and He told someone on the other side,
to write me a letter,
a sincere letter that could make me smile,
and believe that there are somebody who care and honest,
(and feeling pretty too.. hehe.. yes, you are)
the content, let make it as a secret,
between me and her,
and yeah, God too...

to that somebody, thanks for the thought of writing the letter,
i'll try to reply it as soon as i can,
which is after the upcoming horrible 3 days of course,
and this post is the token of my appreciation for the letter.

live well people.

-a break during the battle...

2009-04-16T10:10:00.001+08:00

if you are searching for one good movie based on dream, family and love, this movie sums it all.
it is officially one of my favourite movie now.
it's a music drama movie akin to Oliver Twist's tale.
it is of a music prodigy boy who try to find his lost parents by following the music around him.
cheesy as it may seem but i found it very enlightening.
the scripts are great and the music is awesome.

*the following writing might sound eccentric or absurd for some, so proceed if you are willing to read my another piece of lame thoughts*

my life isn't going to be simple, i believe that,
it will be filled with twists and turns that will mature me more,
it's going to be huge, it's going to be something,
for me as far as i'm concerned,
i don't want to live a life that's so straight and pre-determined,
it's a life that full with wonders and surprises that i'm expecting,
if it's true that if we wanna live a life of our dreams,
that we should become the narrator ourselves,
so be it,
i'll be the narrator,
i'll write the story and the scripts,
i'll act on this stage of life the way i wanna to,
i'll follow what my heart says,
i'll follow where my dreams lead me to,
coz i believe that i'm able,
there's more in me than i can imagine,
there's more in you than you could ever thought of,
it just that we need to realize and open ourselves to it,
we can do more than what we do now,
my life is going to be huge,
my life is going to be something,
and i'll make that.

and this is my reminder about the essence of my own life in case i forgot about it one day.

-Ad astra per aspera-

-So it begin...

2009-04-13T02:13:00.003+08:00

....The Final Exam...

Best of Luck for all!!!

Here is a prayer that i wanna share:

O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew.

Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination) examination.

In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.

O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me

O Holy Ghost enlighten me

Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me

Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me. Amen...

FIGHTING!!!

-True colours...

2009-04-10T04:45:00.002+08:00

read this lyric first,

You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

-Cyndi Lauper : True Colors-

try to imagine,
isn't it wonderful when one day, you're sad,
you isolate yourself from the world,
and all of sudden someone dedicate you this song.
No. nobody dedicated it to me. huhu.
but it sure will uplift our spirit once we ponder upon the words.

it just that this song's is truly meaningful.
true colours.
i believe that everyone of us is unique in our very own way.
should that we're all the same, won't the world will become mundane then?
inside us there's a trait of characteristics that define of who we truly are.
our very own colours.

sometimes the society i.e the people fail to realize this,
they expect to see we're all will become something that they expect us to be.
sometimes they blame our attitudes which are not at par of their standard.
we have our own qualities. our own virtues.
it would be great if each of us able to see that everyone is difference.

some people are afraid of showing their true natures.
they behave according to the demand of their surrounding.
its for the sake of acceptance of their community.
by being what they are not. is it worth it?
and how long will it last then?

few dare to be different.
but this few are the one who are most contented with their life.
i believe.
should someone accept them, they accept his/her whole being.
and that's the good part of it.
its really a bliss if someone said that they love us for what we are.

i'm still learning to be myself.
i want to colour myself well
and i won't be afraid of showing them.

i like purple. but my stuffs most are black and white. i like them too.

what's your colour then?

-Good Friday...

2009-04-10T03:26:00.003+08:00

its the day of the rejection the Lord endured from the people,
its the day when the Lord accepted the punishment given by the people,
its the day when the Lord carried His cross and fall for a few times,
its the day of the Lord being nailed to the cross,
its the day when the Lord died for our sins,

and also,

its the day of our sins redemption,
its the day when nations saw He is truly the Son of God,
its the day when He gave His love to all His people,
which is overflowing, and forever will.

for Christian community,
practicing Catholics,
let's observe this day and commemorate our time for
what Jesus had done for us.

i'm a sinner O Lord,
pardon me of my sins,
i pray that may you have mercy on us,
especially those in most need of your mercy,
i pray for the world,
let there be love inside each soul,
love that will inculcate all other good elements,
let there be mutual respect in people of different faiths,
respect that everybody deserve in spite of the indifference among us,
let there be peace in the society,
peace that will lead to harmony and serenity,
i pray O Lord,
so that we may grow stronger in faith,
and put our trust in your salvation.

-Amen-

-American Idol....

2009-04-09T05:13:00.003+08:00

i really like Anoop's song true colors this week,
his voice kinda sound magical for me.
n yeah i like Danny's version of stand by me,
i like the starting part, sound very Christmas like for me,
and as usual Adam's voice is simply mesmerizing,
and the husky voiced Allison is sure one of a kind.

they are my four favourite contestants so far.

vote for them America.

-of works and events...

2009-04-07T23:37:00.006+08:00

i'm tired.
yeah, i am.

i'm not complaining of course.
i take everything as it is.
even sometimes its damn tiring.
coz i'm used to it.

not asking for appreciation.
nor do i want a recognition.
its a task so do it responsibly,
just wanna share something with dear readers.
if you do interested.

sometimes after an event done,
people tend to forget the driving force behind it,
be it minor or major event,
behind it there's someone or a group who working hard for it,
to make it materialize, to make it real,
and they did.
performance, that's another matter.

they did not ask for anything.
they did their job and that's about it.
but sometimes few words of appreciation do shine the day.
a simple thanks for the day, or a phrase of job well done,
takes away all the tiredness.
better yet a feedback on the performance,
so there will be a room for improvement.

complimenting people should be a healthy culture i guess.
so is criticizing, a positive one of course.

i just want to emphasize that it is good to thanks people.
those aunties who mopped the floor so it looks clean,
those macha who send your orders.
they appreciate it much. they do.

we know it if we're in the working line.
like i was when i was a bellboy and a waiter.

and yeah. i'm tired.
been doing so much and now i wanna chill.

gift to seniors for our FYG today..

-it's starting again..

2009-04-05T13:50:00.002+08:00

my blues feeling.
plus it's the rainy season.
and i got a bad fever. exam fever.

and it's time like this. life begins to tense up.
oh no, i'm not tense.. not yet to say it in a correct manner.
but i'm playing with emotions.

yeah, maybe i'm tense, tense in a different way.
rather than some people,
banging the table while they study,
or memorising word by word of their notes,
fail, they'll shout.
such is the exam season.

as for me. life will become sad.
i don't know why. it's sad during exam season.
is it the rain? is it the exam?
is it the home? or is it the loneliness?
weird thing is it only happens during exam week.

hahaha..

yeah, maybe i am a bit worry about this exam.

but life should be happy isn't it?
come on. let's give it a try.

-for the best people on earth...

2009-04-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

people need love.

yeah they do.
they need to know somebody love them.
they need to know somebody care for them.
they need to know somebody to share the love with.

i'm homesick now by the way.
people say being 20 something is making you an adult.
yes, i am.
but then, to me i will always be my parents little boy.
logic. coz as i grow older, so are they.
the relative difference of our age along with time progress will always absolute.
thus, that makes me always their little one.
just that i grow bigger. that's all.

i feel there's a sign of fever inside of me.
i'm panic. Not!.
being in a boarding school and spent most of my teen years away from my family,
i can say that i'm a well independent man.
yes, i am.

i know what to do when things like this happen.
instead, i'm becoming a little child once more.
i called my mother. ask what medicine should i eat.
which type of panadols or uphamol should i take.
not that i don't know.
it just that it felt really nice to consult my mother.

the way she talked.
the way she gave advices.
the way she showed her concern and care.
its a relief to the heart. knowing that;
somebody love you.
somebody care you.
and somebody will never leave you.

its a not wrong to be childish once in a while.
especially towards our parents.
coz its our nature.
and i'm exploiting the best gift God has given me.
my parents.

oh yeah. i'm my mummy boy.

and i'm proud of it.

and dad. Happy Belated Birthday. love you too.

-CUS Dinner '09...

2009-04-01T18:54:00.001+08:00

blog looks lifeless, so i guess i need to cheer it up a bit.. eheh..

last Saturday, we had our annually CUS Dinner which was at Naza Hotel. theme masquarade.
the place was good but the food (too litte for rm35 and later that night spent another RM1o for McD)
our performance? luckily we told them that we treated it as a jackass, so like bern said it was ok for a jackass performance.. haha.. shit i don't want to think bout it again.
glad people were supporting earth hour that night, bit by bit all of us learn to improve (even the hotel switched off the logo light and we were searching for it like hell in the middle of the rain)
what interesting? i'm one of the prom king candidates; not winning though coz my lack of dance talent.. haha.. no worries, not expecting it also (yeap seriously!!)
i like the q & a part: what is the first thing you will do if you wake up as a girl? honest answer by me: i would go straight to the mirror and check out my "things".. ala you know the thing only women have maa.. coz i wanna know what cup size i have?? (i just wanna create a happening night key, never am i a pervert.. hoho.. i'm a nerd too, wanna answer ques with full marks answer.. ;p)
memorable and enjoyable.. thats the sum of the night...
i know this is Tun M style, and he's the in thing now.. i just follow the current.. haha..

here are some pics:

jaiho!! i know laa i'm not hot.. but its my blog maa.. neaahh!!

my fellow people.. you guys rowk!!

of buddies and mates.. those who wearing the gold kain on their body are the king and queen.. and both are my good friends.. hehe..
interested? cannot, got gf/bf already la.. me? can2 hehe..

candidates for prom king and queen.. haha..
come one give me a chance to brag a bit.. haha
candidate pun ok juak bah... (gulp, i hear someone vomitting.. huhu)

ok pok..

that's all kot..

till then.. and adios!!

-hang on there you...

2009-04-01T02:13:00.003+08:00

yeah, its dedicated to me...
life has been very dense and tight,
some made me 60% toward my threshold limit,
but still, i manage to pull through,
its one after another this week,
the assignments, the tests, the presentations (note the s),
and what tense most,
the ongoing project that need real attention,
gosh am i whining?
practically i am, coz its a form of releasing the stress, (as far as i'm concerned)
not complaining and etc...
coz i'll do everything,
not leaving anything,
coz i believe i'm something! hah!

this post is not an April Fool key... i'm a walking zombie with brain, yeap, i am...

-hah!

2009-03-28T16:54:00.002+08:00

it has been an effin busy week,
so is next week and the next, next week,
what a life..
but in the mean time me and mickey going to perform tonight,
in our CUS dinner;
time of your life-green day-
letters to you-finch-
wish us the best.. hehe..
tillthen.. chiaow!

-the tragedy of a broken ivory....

2009-03-17T02:43:00.007+08:00

during dinner just now at a mamak restaurant outside campus, we watched an interesting movie while eating... i don't know the title.. it's about this white blind man who was in the process of recovering his sight and found out he fall in love with an Indian girl who afraid that he won't accept him when he found how she looks like once he recovered... hah! there you go, a very brief summary.. the thing is he didn't recovered from his plight (the blindness was somehow due to some problems in his brain) and told the girl she is always beautiful (which she is) to him based on her characters...

so what do i found interesting here?~~~(the frog is croaking)

well, should a blind man suddenly regains his sight and he is able to see the world, how would they know which one is ugly and which one is beautiful? they never see a sample of ugliness before.

is it like this?
or is it like this?
it can be the other way round you see for those who don't know which is to be called which... is there some sort of hormone inside us which suddenly please to see something good looking and hence we label them beautiful? or is it something that being taught by people, society; one's environment? and why are we doing so?

it's true that majority of people like good looking stuffs and people.. even myself.. i love something with good features and you know what those features are because its basically the same for all of us.. so, where do we put those so called not-up-to-our-standard-of-good-looking then? why does we tend to become so bias sometimes (and the whole time we're saying we're not)

for sure there are reasons for the existence of everything... i always teach myself to look at people skin deep not just the outer part of it... accept imperfections as a gifts not a curse... to look at the beauty of things no matter how worse it looks like... and its not easy, being a mere human i tend to lose my judgements sometimes..

remember the story of the ugly duckling.. it's about this ugly duck who was being secluded due to it's ugliness but then grew up a very beautiful swan (i think, correct me if i'm wrong).. its a good moral story...i'm not a very good looking person myself too though i'm thanking God for what He had given me.. it makes me wonder sometimes do people befriend with me based on my look? like when a girl suddenly show her interest or avoiding me, is it because of my look? (ehmm2 i have to admit i do look at one's appearance first but then i will directly check their attitude.. seriously but then when it comes to friendship i'll f**k myself should i ever become choosy) do they befriend with me because of my attitudes or do they have to (like terpaksalah konon)?

haa.. such is the world.. (haih why all of sudden)

i can go on and on about this topic but then it's near 4 am and i got class at 9 am..

so tell me, who do you like here;

an old student who worries about his mushy belly or

or his innocently uber cute cousin?
p.s: i chia u choki2 if chose ehm2.. u noe.. haha..

life is beautiful y'all.. so is everything in it.. =)

-it's raining outside...

2009-03-16T17:21:00.003+08:00

i have always love the rain,
for it has the ability to wash away the pain,
i love the cold, chill atmosphere,
which will calm my being here,
every drop of it,
will be the earth's treat,
the frogs rejoice in perpetual joy,
the flowers dancing no longer they coy,

and here i am sitting by my window,
trying to let go this constant sorrow,
and then i realize i'm truly blessed,
for the rain reminds me God's love forever fresh...

=) lil_one

-so called writer's block...

2009-03-16T01:42:00.004+08:00

the internet connection here seriously need attention, got few assignments like usual, belly getting "firmer", rainy days make me feel blue (not doing blue stuffs mind you) and yeah i'm having a serious writer's block this past few days (a politically correct words to use rather than "yeap i'm lazy to update my blog" which is basically the truth.. hah!)

then again, i got to admit i'd tried to post few stuffs but never finished it.. i dunno why? perhaps there's something that i need to sort out first only then the mood to write possess me again.. but i usually got the mood when something happened to me like i'm having problems or i'm happy or i'm somewhere in between.. i told you before that writing is some kind of therapy to me (not that i'm indicating myself as a problematic dude) just that i simply love to write when i feel i want to..

*darn, i'm not going anywhere ain't i.. something still blocking my creativity, my sole property*

let's talk about issues... the PPMSI issue..well, i got to say that i totally opose if they want to stop it.. why? its only Mathematic and Science for goodness sake (and yeah English itself too).. the two subjects which are very vital in global carriers...as Tun M posted in his blog, there are many things of science in English language and how do expect too "membahasa Malaysia kan" all the scientific terms for the convenience of students to learn.. and later on, should they learn every thing in BM, when they come to the tertiary level of their studies only then they realize they in dire need to empower themselves in English.. what more for students who will be going overseas to study, if they are weak in English then they will have double work as they need to learn the terms in English and to learn the subject itself.. and they need to compete in a global scale with students from all over the world.. and when they fail to do, everyone will play the pointing finger game..very cliche of Malaysia..

for the time being we have to accept the fact English is the lingua franca of the world.. i'm not saying i don't love my own nation language.. no.. there are many other way for a person to show his love to his nation other than fussing about the teaching of Math and Science.. like thinking what best for the future rather than what best for self interest.. ;p

i'm not being taught in English for those subjects during my time (why suddenly i feel so old?) and that's why i hope the new generations won't face ordeals in learning the subjects when they come to the tertiary level... furthermore, i believe they also have the confidence to discuss or debate any problems with they lecs or peers (espcly those in foreign countries)...

there's was an incident few years ago, my primary nephew asked me about math which was in English and to my own shame i found i don't know the terms they were using for the subjects.. (of course la then i know what it was after i look at the equations and numbers.. LOL).. its a good thing they know things better than me.. this is how it supposed to be, the newer generation must always be better than the previous one (darn i'm that old)...

for the sake of our future generation to be able to become competitive and viable on the world stage, they need to master these vital subjects in English.. our Bahasa Malaysia won't be left out of course, this is our national language how can they don't know it... this is only my 2 cents worth of thoughts.. i'm not academician or those people with influence.. just an ordinary undergraduate living a hectic student's life who is hoping the best for the future generation (my sons and daughters of course haha)..

-I really want to...

2009-03-12T02:15:00.004+08:00

to sleep beneath the blanket of stars

to watch the sunset from the beach

to run at the green field

to bath at the waterfall

lie down and watch the cloud

to swim in the vast sea

to explore the lush rainforest

sometimes we can never get enough of nature

God's gifts are simply miraculous...

Ad lucem

"towards the light"

p.s: all pictures are searched via google...

-of strength...

2009-03-11T23:10:00.005+08:00

http://deweyspage.com/images/weight_lifting_07.gif

How strong are you?
Do you think that the measure of one's strength is based on his physical or ability only?
How about emotional and mental strength?
Which one is much more important?

Let us see...

Can you do your works at your most laziest time?
Can you cool down quickly when you angry like hell?
Can you keep yourself awake during your sleepy hour?
Can you resist yourself from buying abundance of stuffs when you go shopping?
Can you restrain yourself from any kind of addiction you have?
Can you stop cursing foul words when things go wrong?
Can you reduce your complain and work to improve?

You see, i'm not that strong either...
so, next time should anyone brag about their strength in front of you, ask them to this few stuffs.. after all its the measure of strength too aite?

-just some random thought of the day...

*and the internet connection here never cease to amaze me, pun intended.. darn! see i'm complaining already*

-of kane and able...

2009-03-10T01:18:00.003+08:00

"pray to Lord before i sleep,
pray the Lord my soul to keep,
if i die before i wake,
pray the Lord my soul to take."

for someone who had written this poem on his pillow,
years have passed but you're not forgotten,
it's not easy to forget, much easier to be remembered,
coz for someone who had walked in this life of mine,
who decent enough to live their footprints,
it won't be washed away easily,
its been a while since we last talked,
been ages since we seen each other,
i know not your whereabouts,
what more your latest stories,
i pray that you're doing well,
fear as i am to search you once more,
coz people change, and i know you are too,
it just that tonight, right now,
i think you'd been a great big brother...
and you'll always be...

-from lil' one-

-"you never know what coming for you"

2009-03-07T20:52:00.004+08:00

last Wednesday till Friday, me an my course mate went for an industrial visit at Perak, Pahang and Kelantan. so that's the reason for my absence.. heh.. it was a great trip and a good exposure to my work field.. i spare the details for my future post once i got pictures from my friends (actually kind a bit lazy to blog bout it now, so pictures later might do the trick)..

i'd just finished watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and what i can say is, its TOTALLY AWESOME... Cate Blanchett do looks mesmerizingly stunning there and Brad Pitt, like all the ladies told me, he's outrageously handsome.. worth saliva dropping.. that's what i can tell when our English Lec told the class her review about the movie..

its indeed a must watch movie.. it put much emphasis on the appreciation of life and love... something about living the life the way we wanted it to be and its never too late to be ourselves.. i learnt a lot.. a movie is not something that you just sit and watch and then you said 'yeah, its a good movie' or 'darn, did i'd spent my Rm9 for such a lame movie'.. its the lesson to be learnt in it that matter..

too bad it lost to Slumdog's Millionaire (which by the way is another freakin great movie) in the Academy Award but then its worth of the nomination.. well, i want to share some of my favourite lines in the movie.. hope it'll be something for you and me to hold on to in life..

"Quennie, some creatures aren't meant to survive"
"No. This baby is a miracle, that's for certain. Just not the kind of miracle one hopes to see"

"Momma, momma... some days i feel different than the day before"
"Everybody feels different about themselves one way or another but we're all going the same way, just taking different roads to get there, that's all. You're on your own road, Benjamin"

"Benjamin, we're meant to lose people we love... How else would we know how important they are to us"

"Nice spot in heaven is waiting for you. Nice spot"
"You could be mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go"

"Sleep with me"
"Absolutely"
opps.. not this one.. ehehe..

"For what it's worth, its never too late, or in my case too early,
to be who ever you want to be.
There's no time limit, start whenever you want,
you can change or stay the same,
there's no rules to this things.

We can make the best or worst of it,

i hope you make the best of it
and i hope you see things that startle you,
i hope you feel thing you never felt before,
i hope you meet people with a different point of views,
i hope you live life you're proud of.
If you find that you're not,
i hope you have the strength to start all over again"

-Excerpt from the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button-

that's it i guess.. if you haven't watch the movie.. watch it quickly.. girls, you sure don't wanna miss the chance to drool yourself to the younger version of Brad Pitt that's for sure..

Live well...

-aku mok berkelaka bhasa srawak...

2009-03-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

ahh.. x lalek ku da org paham ka x.. dah lamak dah ku x klaka sawak dlm tok.. rindok juak ati mok klaka bhasa drik pun.. tol x?

kat ctok sapa jak lah miak swak nak leh dimbak klaka sawak.. sejemput li miak sawak ctok.. nak slalu ngan kaka sapa gik si mike ya, bern, kas, steph, illa, wirda n ada juak junior nok jrng ditemu.. yah nak ku dah madah dikit jak mek org ctok.. mun x klaka sawak klaka sabah kak ya klaka smnjg.. yapun bkn pure smnjg diklaka ku.. gik juak ku mok nyampor elemen sawak dlm bnda diklaka ku.. x mok ku dilepehkan.. ku mok jdi miak sawak juak.. srawak ku gemilang.. hua hua..

aoklah.. lupak ku nak mdh ngan krng ku dh dpt tmpt pratikal dah.. teka cne? eheh.. mestilah rah kuching.. yeye.. tmpt kuari.. itam la aku klk aiee.. ahaha.. x duli.. pa lah gna org mlh sun block hoo.. ya pun lekak ku lelah bercarik drik pun.. miak kos ku nok lain suma dpt tmpt awl.. aku jak ahe sbb aku crik dik pun.. ku mok kat Kch juak coz mok dkt ngan dak family ku.. dri skolah menengah gik diam jauh dri dak nya.. kak ya mtrik ngan uni pun sma juak.. mun keja lak agiklah.. kak ya mok save budget juak.. kat kch ya makan mee kolok semangkuk pun dah kenyang.. tol x? waa.. x sabar gik mok balit...

esok ku da kls english.. polah panel discussion.. dahla part aku dibrik nya nok susah2.. tuaija juak dak nya ya.. p x pa lah.. lak ku merapu jak dapan ya hoo.. nang slalu merapu pun..mun x pun bebek x tauk pa nak diklakla.. kak ya mun dah abis klas bok nak ngegeh2 klaka omputih.. eran juak ku ngan drik ku tok.. krng kdk ya x? mesti x nak? ku jak nak pelik.. nag pelik dri dlk pun.. klaka psl pelik,pelik juak semangat juak ku menulis dlm bhsa swak tok.. laju li tgn naip.. patut x aku b'blog dlm bhasa sawak hoo? haha.. lak sapa jak lah nak phm.. alu x da org mk singgah gik alu.. dah la blog pun x pemes.. huh..

reya time ash wednesday, da juak makan ngan miak sawak dri usm minden.. best juak nangga olah cdak.. yalah lamak dah x tga org sawak klaka kak ya bertetak2 gik.. (da empuan kiut juak bah p dah da gerek.. adess.. kenja x aku?haha).. bla ku nangga cdak nak, ku prasan lawak kita ngan lawak dak sabah ngan cdak ctok lain aie.. yalah ku ska nengar.. sa mcm blt zmn skolah dlk jak.. lamak dah x bertetak kdk org gila ngan geng jera.. patah gik tetak ngan olah sedek ngan buri.. dpt nak ka berambeh ngan cdak lak.. huu.. ku ska lawak selamba nak x dipolah.. mesti leput perut ku tetak kak ya.. ctok jrng juak tetak nok sampe berguling2..

korang mok tauk cgek rahsia x? aku mun rah jamban nak slalu ku praktis ngajat.. haha..boh korang nak tetak.. menalah.. ya nak ke tradisi kita.. chee.. ku takut bah cgek ari klk tba2 ku blt kmpng bpa ku alu x pande nak ngajat time ya.. brik malu drik pun jak.. dah la klaka bhasa drik pun x pande.. nang x b'gna li anak swak kdk aku tok.. aoklah blt tok lak ku blaja (dri dlok gik madah kdk tok).. at least ada la nok ku tauk dkit lak nak.. lak x org mdah blajar tngi2 alu lupa adat drik pun.. mun dak nya anok kdk ya pun ku aok jak.. x la ku lupa.. semangat ku aie ngan budaya kta tok.. cma ku gik x pande klaka bhsa drik ngan b'tandak ya jak.. huhu..

yah.. sapa nak dpt maca sampe ctok nang terrer lah krng.. esk krng akn b'nasib bait untuk 3 jam.. mena.. cayak lah nak pa dipadah ku tok.. mulut ku masin bah dipadah geng ku dlk.. ya dak nya takut mun ku nyebut benda2.. haha.. bulak jak.. k lah ku mok cri benda k presentation esok.. boh krng berolah kat luar nun.. da dipaluk burit klk bok tauk.. makan2 ya boh lupak nak smbhyang dlk.. kak ya ikuti lah p'kembangan artis2 tempatan kta rah sia spt anderson ngalai, acid rain, sapa nama penyanyi empuan iban nk mbk lgu lelaki2 ya.. lupak ku.. dan seterusnya.. mun da lagu bru nok hit padah mek org, ctok neda cats f.m atau 101.3 pun stesen..

k chaow lok pok..

~Sarawak tanah airku....
Negeriku tanah airku, Sarawak....

-Lent season...

2009-02-26T13:09:00.006+08:00

its the season of retreat, a season of conversion,
its the time to reflect and the time to act...

well, its the Lent season now.
so, i wish to all of my fellow Christians friends,
have a meaningful and enlighten Lent.
let's welcome it with the spirit to grow anew and better.
fast if you may, be it foods, words, thoughts or deeds.
its the time to give deep thoughts of our own sins and repent of it.

and already i've been tested with few patient wrecking events.
it was really though that i really feel like i'm going through a though 40 days.
and so far i manage to control my feelings and emotions.
not to be caught up by it and immerse myself with those matters.
i'm not those seriously pious people.
just a simple dude with a hectic life who somehow at one point finding it difficult to cope it all.

but i'm thanking God.
i believe when i ask for strength, He gives me all these hardship,
so i'll be strong,
when i ask for wisdom, He gives me all these problems,
so i'll be wiser,
when i ask for love, He gives me people to care of,
so i'll be loving,
when i ask for blessings, He gives me unfortunate event,
so i'll turn it out to blessings.

and all these are not even easy, sometimes i found myself almost giving in,
as a mere mortal who has such a complex emotions and attitudes,
i sometimes fall, wondering if i'll ever get up once more,
its not easy to take everything with optimism, no, its not,
its easier to take out our anger and hatred and throw it around,
yeah, its much easier.

and in the midst of my almost self defeat, i yearn for my God,
and He's not abandaning me,
He once said its not easy to walk His path,
but He'll be with me, guiding me all along the way,
no matter how hard life would be, He'll be there,
never will He let me go, never will He walks away,
thats what my faith says to me all this while.

and now its up to myself, and you too,
to put our trust in God,
and let Him take care of everything,
coz He knows sometimes its too much for us too handle.

and now in Jesus's name i pray,
i'll be made strong, wiser, loving and blessed,
to carry my own cross and to endure whatever come as it may,
Amen.

-The Invitation

2009-02-22T18:27:00.002+08:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

i read this poem few days back and it stroked my heart deeply...ouch!! haha.. it makes me realize that this is the way how love should be... without expectation, standards to be followed but rather a mystery to be learnt and solved...

i do admit that i do have expectations when it comes to spouse matter (tell me who's not?!!).. and my friends are accusing (i choose this word rather than blaming coz well, truth is hurt, is it not?) me being a choosy dude.. which in fact i am.. its not that i want to be with someone as hot as Adriana Lima (you guys know i'm deeply in love with this girl) but rather someone that could fulfill what my life lacking of...

some people will go and chase after someone and be in love and then what? they separate coz they said there's no chemistry between them, they're not match made in heaven and etc.. all those same excuses just because they want to get rid of another person.. some ending up regreting the choice of their life and regreting won't lead us to no where too.. its the dot.. literally..

someone you love is someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with for goodness sake.. that's for me a very solid reason why we must choose wisely too... of course then we shouldn't be too choosy and expect that someone to score a perfect 10 on our requirements.. think do we fulfill their own requirements too?

i learn something.. and i'll remind myself with that.. some basic requirements of most guys seek:

someone who can cook. (well, that's what their in-laws are expecting too and its great to have a home made meal rather than outside meals)
someone who respect us and our family.(of course this is the vital part, especially in my family, where bonding we have close bonding, i can't imagine leaving my family just because my spouse not in sync with them)
someone who accept us as we are. (and yeah we do will accept as you are.. it something like accepting each other vices)
someone who will be there for us in time of our need.(its the best feeling to see the face of our spouse (if the marriage us not wreck) waiting at the door greeting us with the warm smile and a litte massage too.. hehe.. all the tiredness of works will be blown away)
someone who will love and love unconditionally.(in time of a ralationship, of course there will be ups and downs.. lucks and dooms.. so, regardless of whatever the situation is, she will stay together to face it all)

well, the list might go and on but i believe these are some part of what we want (for me as far as i'm concerned).. yeah, i'm a typical Asian dude you see.. and then as written in the invitation, i wouldn't care this and that, i'm just hoping to meet someone who like me, trying to live my life to the fullest and cherish it..

darn it.. well, its a romance post again.. February oh February please fly away...
– for without WOMEN, MEN will never be able to witness this beauty of life alone! – as quoted from As I See It...

-A birthday wish....

2009-02-20T16:19:00.001+08:00

to a my so called best friend.. haha...
Mickey
on his 22nd birthday
may your life be blessed and filled with love and joy
live happily and healthily
and rocking too!!!!
and happy 3rd anniversary to your
relationship with Lulu
God speed you guys
thanks for being dear friends to me!!!

-My different kind of Valentine's Day..

2009-02-17T23:41:00.007+08:00

yeap, its the month for celebration of love they say... a day to affirm our love to someone and appreciate it.. and you must have that someone to celebrate it, well not necessarily i would say.. there's more to life as to show and share the love.. its up to oneself to define who is his/her love one...

as for me, yeap, i'm still celebrating it alone this year (not surprising huh? eheh).. in fact, i celebrated with many.. hmm around 100 people i believe (this is surprising kan).. well, me and my fellow CUS members went to Penang Island to do some charity work.. i called it as "Spread the love" project.. details read on, i wanna do an exposure to my fellow friends and myself too, so i asked Anne our CMO to help me organising this project and thanks to her its on..

that Friday's evening, me and some our friends prepared packed food for 100 homeless people.. yeah, we're going to distribute it later that night.. inside our love package (chee love packages people) were t-shirt (only few package had it as we have only few), chocolate bar, sandwich bread, sausages and my hand made cucur (yeap i made it on my own, i cooked it by myself, its my very own secret recipe.. hehe)

later that night, i had to say there's some problems though and it kinda get on my nerves but then, hey its season of love dude.. so, i just let it go or rather be.. there were 12 of us and we went to Light House located at the famous Penang Road (famous for what? you better check it out).. something about Light House, its a NGO place where homeless people can take free food, shelter and basic services like bath.. we were greeted by Steven, a young Indian guy who always do voluntary work for the place...

my fellow CUS people..

we were being briefed and divided into groups... frankly speaking, since this is our first time doing such exposure, there were some who thought that some homeless may reacted 'unkindly' to us.. its the first impression people.. but then, our perspectives changed once we did the distribution.. there's warm thankful expression on their face.. some were being honest enough by saying no to our food so that it can be given to others... there were some who being dishonest by saying that they need the food whereas we saw him as a healthy man who works on his own, unlike all the real homeless and old people.. believe me, there are a lot of them outside there..

seeing them eating and cherished our labour of love really touched my heart.. they are real people trying to survive in the harsh world... they are less fortunate than the rest of us.. some might not even their life to be that way but what can they do... little... what we had experienced teaches us that we, the so called fortunate one with a so called better life act as an instrument of God to outreach them.. help them wherever we could.. make them see there are people do care about them and giving them hope in this hopeless world.. show them that God's love exist and radiant in their life... this is regardless whatever faiths, beliefs and skin colour you may be, God exists in them and the love grows when these two people care for each other... there's God..

hmm.. i'm happy that i'm able to organize such event and i hope i can do more next time (with the help of my members too.. i need it).. there was one interesting thing happened in the dawn of Valentine day.. our car was stuck in jammed on Penang bridge (the traffic that time seriously slow like hell).. so, when we saw some people went out and we (me and my junior Ben) decided to take pictures (or rather camwhoring) on Penang bridge..then, we saw our car moving slowly and we thought that it would only be going for few metres but to our dismay, the traffic suddenly okay and we saw our car leaving us far behind (they had to move you see)..

while running, still got time to craze around...

hell yeah, we were panicked and we ran to catch up with the car.. it was an embarrassing and in a way a laughable moment too.. we laughed, we shouted as loud as we could while running, (mind you, its at Penang bridge 4 am something ok) it felt great and like we were living our life to the max (in a crazy way of course).. some passing cars actually giving us some sort of support like (lari2 and hoahh.. go2).. luckily i'm not a celebrity so the won't recognize me.. we ran for like 500-700 metres on the bridge whilst our car waiting on the side of the road further front (it felt like we went a quarter of the bridge length coz the car was waiting only few 20-30 metres from the middle of the bridge).. Gosh it was tiring, it was a memory...

Its a long journey ahead, yet craze around sometimes, do memorable stuffs and your life won't be empty... LET'S RUN!!!!!!!!

-it's heaven on earth...

2009-02-10T04:31:00.005+08:00

Oh, thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothin' can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

CHORUS:
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh, once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Yeah, nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh, there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
'Cause our love will light the way

CHORUS

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Yeah, I'll be standin' there by you

CHORUS

-Heaven by Brian Adams-

been listening to this song repetitively lately... there's some sort of lost feeling creeps in the nook of this tiny heart of mine... and the yearning to have someone keeps come and go... at one moment 'whoah, its great to be alone.. i'm mr independent' and yet sometimes 'i need somebody to love and know that somebody thinking of me now'.... well, that sort of moment...

and i got nobody to blame but me... yea, sometimes chances knock the door and what did i do? i hush them away.. sometimes opportunities are on the side of the road and yet what did i do? i didn't bother to take notice and pass them by... being me, i didn't open my own eyes to really see and i do believe in karma.. and you know what i mean.. so, learn from my silly mistakes..

this is not some kind of desparado post.. no, i'm not desperate.. i'm still considering at the time being i'm just ok.. all i'm doing is looking into myself and this is the reminder how foolish i really am... i don't know the right or wrong things in this matter so i keep on drowning myself in this ocean of emotions... and i pray out there there's still someone to offer her hands to me...

oh how February sometimes bad for me...

-Of Diary...

2009-02-07T03:28:00.006+08:00

http://www.oiwillo.com/images

yea, the topic of my post in this very early morning is diary.. why diary? hmm i suddenly feel that i adore someone who have one especially girls.. not to say that guys are not cool with diary, you guys are still rocks also what... i wonder how many people are keeping a diary of their every day life?? i believe the number are not so many kan.. gone has the culture of writing~~~

i myself never had a diary (liar)... not a diary actually, just a few writing whenever i caught up in emotions... that was years ago and a few writings now and then... i take it as a stress reliever.. to put down all your worries, angers and even some moment of bliss on a piece of paper... sometimes there are certain things that we could not share with someone.. so, the best thing to do is to write it down... and nowadays i hardly do that anymore.. not that i'm able to manage my emotions and all that stuff just that... i'm lazy to write.. enough said...

the generation now are more to blogging, twittering and all the modern stuffs which myself haven't explore... hmm why i like those who have diaries? for me, they are the type of people who want to keep their memories regardless its good or bad, happy or sad... they treasure it so whenever they read it in the future, they can smile or ... cry... for a woman who has a diary, i believe that they are very sentimental and place deep emphasis to life (not to say others don't)..

just that as a guy you see, if one day i happen to be with a girl who owns a diary, it would be very sweet to read how she feels during the relationship.. whether i'm suck or romantic (haha my face look romantic people meh?)... as a mother, she'll write a lot regarding her children.. the bittersweet moment of raising them and etc... and i know this is just unreal dream coz very few people write and the probability of me meeting one is like 1 over 10k.. i think.. (~_~)

i saw this one movie last time, a little boy reading his mother's diary whilst his mother was hospitalized... at first, he wasn't care a bit about his mother, he was a naughty kid like to act cool and independent (he don't have a father).. he always failed to see the love behind all his mother's act to him.. but things change when he read the diary... he knows the suffering and the hardship that his mother endured alone... and then that's all.. haha.. its a long story la...

i'm not saying that after i'm writing this post, i'll suddenly be writing a diary (this blog can be considered as cyber diary aa?).. i just feel that some good values of habit are forgotten as we progressing with time.. to those who has a diary.. you guys are rare... believe it or not.. keep it up.. perhaps in the future i should ask my children to write a diary kot?? so, i'll sneak up at night to read it with the hope there more complaints about their mummy than their daddy.. haha..

-lately....

2009-02-05T02:18:00.007+08:00

i'm extremely busy.. seriously.. if before i told you that i'm busy, none would compare to this sem.. my head are full with lists-to-do everyday; works, assignments, worries and even time to do my daily chores and etc..

i'm the director for two project this sem, one is for our school's society which is a trip to UTP.. luckily that i have a good team members and i'm happy to work with them.. we already achieved 50% progress and now the things that worries me is the BUS.. booking the bus was like booking Jessica Alba to my birthday party.. fully booked for the month of February and March.. yea seriously.. second sem is the shortest sem and yet it is the busiest sem..i wonder why many unis' activities are on this sem.. you think this one is rather 'ok la memang bz pun' wait till i tell you the next one...

i'm the project director for PCC Concert and mind you its a very mega project... arghh... we are targetting Christians from Penang to attend the concert so you see, its like a state level project already.. to find people one thing, but wanna know how much is their targeting as profit? roughly 7K an i was like ok.. that's a very big amount.. and here i am..a newbie in organising such a big event and finding myself wired out at the end of days... enuf said.. you know how busy it would be..

my worries? wanna know? though you don't wanna know, i still wanna let you know.. haha.. i got 5 killer papers for finals which the duration is only for two weeks.. think how close would each paper be.. i haven't got a place for my intern.. everyday i wake up, i hope i got reply from the company.. what bothers me is i believe there's few undergrads who asked for interns in Sarawaks' companies compare to Peninsula and yet its ironic that they couldn't afford a few interns.. i know its recession and every company is tightening their belt, but hello please la for just a few months how can you not provide the experience the undergrads need for their studies... whatmore its Sarawak, the largest state with many companies also maa.. i've send more letters, so please pray for me i'll get it...

these are some of the things that give me a bit of headache.. assignments jangan kira la.. there will always be one pun.. student's life... but i'm not giving me up..

its hard and its tough and thats why i seek God for His help to grant me the strength i need to endure all this... a friend of mine ymed me just now and told me that i'm lucky.. why? out of millions i'm the one He choose to experience all this.. yup its good to look at the bright side so that things won't look more complicated as the way they are...

i'm not tense or whatsoever coz i got friends who i can rely on.. poor Mickey, he always become my place to settle myself... and he's being a good listener.. so far.. and chocolate is good to ease your mind or ice cream or any foodlah.. so, express the feelings be it to the food or to someone ears.. don't keep it inside coz it will eat you slowly...

God i know you are with me and i believe i can make it through this rain...

-i like to smell. do you?

2009-02-02T11:28:00.005+08:00

have you ever come to place where the smell reminds you of something?
or when you smell a t-shirt and you know who is the owner?

i do.. in fact i put a lot of emphasis to the smell around me... i know how Mickey's bed smell like and i know how Jude's bed smell too... i know certain girls with their own distinctive perfume which is easier for me to identify them even if they are coming from the back...

at home, i know how our beds smell like, our cat and our car... when i hug my mum, i always like to smell her hair, and she got that comforting smell of a mother.. i don't know, its like a caring perfume or whatsoever... my dad, i know how he smells when he sweated from doing heavy chores.. i remember how my siblings smell with or without addition of perfume or cologne...

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

the thing is, sometimes there are so many things that can remind us to our loved ones and to our memories.. be it good or bad... that's why i believe for those couple who are breaking up, they'll try to get rid of anything that marks the existence of the other... and one of the mark is the smell; their shirts, bed and pillow sheets and so on... and i believe many of us during our childhood days have our own 'bantal busuk' which take years for us to separate from it.. some even still keep it i believe.. huhu..

God has given us the blessing to smell via our nose... so, make full use of it... hehe.. sometimes a familiar smell is all we need as a comfort in hard times, that's why we go to our friends and even our bed to seek for serenity... sometimes we put our trust to the smell around us...for instance, if we want to check whether the rice is still ok or not, we smell it to detect whether it is still ok to be eaten... and sweet things do allure us towards them; cakes, sweets and even girls... a signature smell like KFC never fails to attract us to their restaurant... and one of the best smell of all time, the baby's smell.. seriously, the smell is so innocent and pure and comforting at the same time too.. kan2?

in short, remember do stop a while and smell the roses... and smell the person who is dear to you.. sounds funny but that smell will be the thing you longing for when you are away... =)

p/s: there's a friend of mine, a v. good friend in fact who has this very ultra super smelly fart odour which so far i know nobody who can challenge him.. try ask me how's the smell when he's taking poo poo.. haha...

-What i discover...

2009-01-29T23:39:00.003+08:00

if you found someone who treats you the way you treat them or even in a much better way, appreciate them, keep them, coz its hard to find such people...

if you never know how long your love would last, don't even start it...
it may last in a short while...

if you are not committed to love someone as the first time, don't even start it...
the feelings may fade...

if you are in love with someone, and afraid that someday it might hurt you,
don't even start it...
it will..

if you care someone too much, and they don't even bother...
expect it coz it always like that...

if you find out that they no longer the one you used to know...
expect it coz they say people change...

if they begin to walking away from your life...
expect it coz they might found someone better...

and last but not least,
if you love someone,
and that someone leave you,
remember the one that you love,
not the one that leave you...

-Oh Carol, i'm such a fool....

2009-01-22T12:27:00.002+08:00

i'm a big fan of oldies songs you see... yea those evergreen songs like Elvis Presly, Air Supply, Roxette and etc... call me old school, i'm ok with it.. i grow up listening to their songs, apart from listening to the Backstreet Boys, 911 and Five and even Celine Dion.. i know, i'm the 80's and 90's generation..

well, hey evergreen songs are nostalgic you know... it reminds me of the past.. chee as if la i can think like now during that time.. below are some of my favourite songs, do you remember them??

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you

I know you were right believing for so long

I'm all out of love, what am I without you

I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

-All out of love-Air Supply-

Almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains

Shenandoah River ,Life is old there

Older than the trees, Younger than the mountains

Growing like a breeze

Country Roads, take me home,

To the place I belong, West Virginia, mountain momma

Take me home, country roads

-Take me home country roads-John Denver-

Pretty woman, walkin' down the street

Pretty woman the kind I like to meet

Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth

No one could look as good as you---mercy

Pretty woman won't you pardon me

Pretty woman I couldn't help but see

Pretty woman that you look lovely as can be

Are you lonely just like me---

-Pretty Woman-Roy Orbison-

Oh! Carol, I am but a fool,

Darling I love you tho' you treat me cruel,

You hurt me and you made me cry

But if you leave me I will surely die.

-Oh Carol-Heil Sedoka-

Oh yeah I tell you somethin',I think you'll understand

When I say that somethin', I want to hold your hand (3x)

Oh please say to me, You'll let me be your man

And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

Now, let me hold your hand, I want to hold your hand

-I wanna hold your hand-The Beatles-

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.

She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.

And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"

And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight.

-You look wonderful tonight-Eric Clapton-

What about love

Don't you want someone to care about you

What about love, Don't let it slip away

What about love, I only want to share it with you

You might need it some day

-What about love-Heart-

When the night has come, And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

So darlin', darlin', stand by me, Oh stand by me

Oh stand by me, stand by me

-Stand by me-Ben E. King-

Wise men say only fools rush in

but I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay, would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you

-I can't help falling in love-Elvis Presley-

carpe diem folks!!!

-the art of kawansutra...

2009-01-22T02:46:00.007+08:00

few things that made friendship a lot differ...

pat your friend's back whenever they accomplish something good and congratulate them...
place your hand on his shoulder while walking, it shows that you guys are close enough to do that...
ask simple question like 'are you ok?' whenever you see your friend in silence, sometimes they may not reveal you their problems but at least you show that you are concern...
know when to listen and when to talk, they will appreciate it...
make yourself available in their time of need, they need a shoulder to lean on...
respect each other... A MUST...
its okay to quarrel once in a while so you guys can realize how foolish you guys are to fight over foolish things...
if their jokes not funny, just smile.. at least you don't make their effort hopeless..
be friend like a child, childish yet sincere... they don't even know the meaning of hypocrite..
its not always about yourself, sometimes its about them too, know when to tolerate and when to be firm... there's boundary but don't make it rigid...
laugh at each other a lot coz that's ok.. you can't easily laugh at other people coz might be beaten to pulp..;p
buy chocolate if she's/ he's angry.. you may not want to admit your faults sometimes so this may do the trick...
last but not least, tickle each other often.. it can be a form of exercise too you know...

and yet, sometimes the simplest thing is so hard to do...

"Appreciate what you got, love it while its still there, coz you never know , when its gone, nothing nicer can replace it better"

-Fear factor...

2009-01-18T16:55:00.014+08:00

the other day, i read a book... regarding the power of mind i think...
and i read upon an interesting articles which was about the motivation of our action...
it is much easier if i describe it in form of story, so, here goes:

Scene 1

Minah is young, sweet girl with a great carrier.. though she is blessed with a good look and a successful life, yet she's having a relationship problem which is she never have one.. ironic huh?? this because she's so afraid of rejection that whenever she come across a guy she adore, she never confessed.. if she think of being in relationship with somebody, she's afraid of being dumped.. so, she choose to stay single---alone... we can see that she places the fear of rejection more than the fear of being alone...

image for deco purpose only

Scene 2
Dara is another girl living in the upper east side of the town (pengaruh Gossip Girls sungguh)..
She is a socialite, outgoing and a perfect example of a sanguine girl.. she's pretty and new arrival is a must to have for her... and yeah, in term of relationship, she's having a problem with that too... she's having an on and off kinda relationship because guy usually dump her first due to her 'high maintenance'.. but she don't give any shit about that.. she will continue to hunt other guys without fearing of their rejection.. this is because she's more afraid of being alone rather than being rejected (well, imagine someone like Paris Hilton, being alone is so not hot ok)...

image for deco purpose only

Conclusion:
as you have read, both Minah and Dara are having the same problem->suck in relationship... but how they deals with it is determine by which fear they prioritize more.. rejection or being alone?? and this factor which will govern their attitude and way of life (where relationship thinggy is concerned of course)... yeap, a lot of people have their own greatest fear regardless of how mature or how strong you are, there must a weak point somewhere.. its how we deal with those fear that will made things differ... it took a lot of courage because our fear is one with us, confronting our fear meaning confronting ourselves... which by the way is hell as tough...

as for me, i used to fear rejection so much (thats why i never was a successful womanizer) but then, when i come to think of it, i'll never know the result unless i try.. hurt as it might be when we are being rejected but we learnt about life from that.. even Jesus himself was being rejected by his people once you see.. and yet, He faced it.. not that i'm so afraid of being alone la (don't pandai2 make assumption first aa).. just that, so far everything is neutral.. and wanna know what i fear most now??

.
.
.
.
.
.

failure in studies... the feeling is like being dumped by superhot Adriana Lima..ouch!!
(as if i have the experience) haha..
MUAHH!!

-Guess what?!!

2009-01-15T18:46:00.004+08:00

tonight i might have big hits from my MR3 peers because my blog was being publicised (not intentionally of course) by my lecturer, Pak Tuan (unique name isn't it?).. he told the class that i've been blogging about love (aigoo can you imagine how red my face had become after that)... not that i dislike it, it just that i was rather ermm shy (eleh mena tek..)

*Pak Tuan if you happen to be reading this post, hope you don't mind whatever i'm writing about here aite huhu*

this evening we got a class with him (not to say a class, it was rather a motivational session with him regarding time management, strategy for success and etc), and in the middle of the session, suddenly a final year student came in and she asked him whether she could join the class or not.. she joined us and as the session went on, and to tell you the truth i was kinda impress with her...

why?? whoah, let me ask you this; do you dare to barge in a junior class where you hardly know anybody and the reason was that you enjoy to listen to this one particular lec? and then everyone in the room suddenly looking at you with a hey-you-where-did-you-come-from kinda expression... she got the courage.. and she talked a lot in the class too, though i believe that some might see that as a disturbance, but i see that as something that spark the whole evening..

yeah, you see typical Malaysian student, they only talk when the lec ask ques to them or when they really don't understand and sometimes when the lec ask something to the whole class, there would be a moment of silent and all of the students' heads suddenly bow down and they began reading the books diligently... if not, then the lec will do all the talking thinggy.. familiar with the situation??hehe.. that's why when the girl came and start to talk to the lec with ease (she always start talking with the word sorry (for interrupting)), i was thinking like i was in a different class where the class was active with the participation of the students... and they feel free to say what they wanna say without hesitation or doubt..

she was expressive to the extend she said she really like the lec during the session (i believe like as in attitude and way of thinking)... she remind me of someone.. ME.. why didn't i become as proactive as her and speak my mind out loud? why am i always reserved and become passive in class? where did my courage and my confident goes?

you see, when i watch movie like 21 or Donald Trump's The Apprentice, i always wanted to become as good as them... speak confidently with wise words.. its the charisma so to say.. i know wanting would always be wanting if i'm not practicing it and getting out from my shell... darn it, i should change...

p/s: maybe some might ask, how la then, a lec already know your blog, won't he know your attitude by your writing, will i stop posting my 2 cents worth piece of mind on whatever issues i wanna? No, i won't.. this is the place where hypocrisy doesn't exist and i'll continue to be myself.. a cheerful optimistic Sanguine.. Peace!!!

-what i did last weekend?

2009-01-14T01:59:00.008+08:00

i did a major room cleaning la of course.. eheh.. i don't know what got into me that time and all of sudden i was very hardworking and and inspired to clean up the mess i made the whole week Oops!! not so dirty la my place.. there's some bit of hygiene freak sickness flowing through my veins you know.. and this were what i did...

the overall view of my study table.. pretty cool huh.. and this is just the beginning.. eheh..
and you can see there Calvin on the top of my laptop's screen..

this my study table's motto: Fighting!!!
no matter how hard life is, just keep pressing on and fighting..
(and i wonder why i never got this spirit in dealing with my assignments)
huhu.. and its been a while since i last playing with paper and scissor..

these are all the pictures of those who are dear to me.. not only this of la.. there are many
more.. it just that these are the only pictures that i have for the time being.. sori k geng mun korang tetiba buka blog ku indah,kak ya nangga korang x da kat sia.. ku sayang korang juak bah.. hehe.. neway, the reasons why i'm putting all the pictures on the board are:
- i don't want my table to look dull..
-i'm kinda sentimental sometimes, so whenever i miss my fam and friends, i can just see them in front of me...
-most of the pictures were during my high school, one of the greatest time in my life, so whenever i'm down with my recent life, i'll just try to remember those sweet memories and it will cheer me up...

this is the shoes that i bought last Sunday.. and i never fail to realize how suck i am in bargaining.. i usually just round up the amount of the items, like if the amount of the stuffs are RM32, i'll just ask for RM30.. i know.. duh.. so, the tip that i get that day from my friend was always bargain from the lowest price, only then you can raise it bit by bit.. but, neway at least the price of the shoes still considerable though i could have it at much cheaper price.. darn..
reason for buying the shoes: i must go jogging this sem and do workout to flush all the fat in my body... i don't know why last sem i was so lazy..

so, that's it i guess.. Pray for those souls in Gaza and may God bless them..

FUCK WAR!!!

-of virtues and vices...

2009-01-11T01:15:00.004+08:00

its been quite a while since the last time i touch the key board for blogging purpose.. yea, life has been pretty busy lately... alright... cliche.. campus life.. duh...

talking about blogging, i read a post of my blogger mate saying that a friend of her don't want to read her blog because her blog is all about her.. get it?? well, i guess all bloggers are writing about themselves.. well, that's normal aite? do you expect we are going to write a post regarding your life and turning ourselves into an eye sore stalker... blergh..

not that bloggers are being narcissist (but i guess some do), just that the blog is entirely ours so whatever we wanna do with it is our business.. so, bluntly speaking, if you don't wanna read somebody else blog of their life story,well, just click the small red box at the upper right side of your screen and go mind your own business.. as easy as that dude..

well, my blog also about my own life and my perspectives on life.. some are fictional and some are true.. sometimes you see, its hard to write a post regarding this matter, coz people, being judgemental as they are, start to make assumption on your personalities based on your writing which is as a matter of fact quite true.. but i don't give a damn on that.. judge la if they like, coz i'm still me and what their thought of me doesn't concern me at all... i'm living my life the way i wanted and i don't want to be somebody i'm not for the sake of their satisfaction...

i don't know whether I've written about this or not but a friend of mine once wrote to me, let people love you for who you are, not the way they wanted you to be... and i know sometimes being ourselves is not relatively easy.. but at the moment, yea i'm grateful that i'm being myself.. i want people to accept my virtues and vices as the way i am... and those people, i believe are being true to me and earn my trust... eheh..

one life, one stanley,
i'm me, and forever i shall be...

p/s: i don't know for what reason i'm ranting here but hey, cheers buddy...

-lets break the new ground shall we?

2009-01-03T17:19:00.004+08:00

Neah!! days come and go.. the sun still rise from the east and set in the west.. the moon still revolve around the earth and the scar on my forehead is still clearly visible.. nothing really changes..

it just the number of the year that changes and we are going to grow old by another year this year somewhere along the date in this year of 2009... "you better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, i'm telling you why, wrinkles will be visible on your face" haha..

why i'm sounding so pessimistic?? i am? yeah maybe i am... it just that i'm a practical man (whoah!! a man already oo).. i never do new year resolutions coz i'm afraid i won't commit it the whole year.. one thing i do believe is its everyday that we can set goals which we wish to achieve.. not just in the beginning of the year..

i just don't see that everything is new and fresh when the clock strock to12 midnight of 1st January.. yeah, perhaps its the psychological factor.. we make believe and deem that when the year change and so must we.. which is good by the way if its for the sake of the better us, but does the whole year later we still have the same level of amount of enthusiasm like we have during early January.. thats why i practice to make resolutions during any time of the year.. be it on 20th March, 1st July or 31st Dec..

i'm not trying to brainwashing anybody nor do i intend to make any post that differ from others..i'm just stating my mind.. hehe.. yay this is a long ranting.. well, like usual aite?? eheh..

neway, this New Year celebration was rather simple.. it was a last minute program so it was rather hectic in the beginning..Luckily we managed to get 2 rooms for the price of only RM220 and let me remind it was at Feringghi Beach and its New Year Eve people!! its effin cheap you know.. whilst all the places we went before that the price range from RM400 and RM700 per room!! thats why i told u believe in miracles, it will happen.. eheh..

simple celebration during night by the sea shore with dear friends, and it was happening at Ferengghi Beach.. washing my eyes with many foreigners(and locals too) and there was firework too.. and look what our group did...isn't it beautiful?? several passerby took picture of our creation and we charged them RM1.00 per snap.. reasonable aite?? eheh.. kidding.. we had "few" sips of wine and later spend the rest of the night at room.. playing cards and uno.. lame?? i told ya it was a simple celebration.. but we're happy and that's all that matters..

in the afternoon we went to Gurney and some of us went to watch Yes Man.. for your information this movie was really funny i can guarantee you.. even myself LOL inside the cinema.. yeap.. lets say Yes to Life!! and since i did say Yes to life long time before the movie and thats the reason why this sem is effin (i rather choose this word rather than fuckin coz it sounds much nicer tho it carries the same meaning eheh) BUZY!! and i have to bear with it and let times deal with it.. ahh its so good to be carefree..haha..

anyway folks, few things for sure:

LETS LIVE WELL THIS YEAR, HEALTH ALWAYS OUR PRIORITY!!
LETS LIVE HAPPILY, SLOW TO ANGER, QUICK TO FORGIVE!!
LETS LIVE WITH HONOUR AND PRIDE,COZ SOMETIMES OUR DIGNITY IS ALL WE GOT!!
LETS LIVE AS A BLESSINGS TO OTHERS, BE AN INSTRUMENT OF GOD!!
LETS LIVE, JUST AS HOW LIFE WANTS US TO LIVE, THERE MIGHT BE A BIG OBSTACLE IN FRONT OF US, DEALS WITH IT AND YOU'LL BE CONTENTED, BUT STILL THERE ALWAYS TIME FOR US TO SMILE AT THE SMALL, SILLY AND YET HAPPY EVENT!!

CHEERS!!!

-Sayonara 2008....

2008-12-31T02:23:00.006+08:00

there's a lot of things to write about... considering the absence of any posts for the past month and yet now i'm not the mood in writing anything... reasons? i'm finding its still hard to accept that holiday was over (though i'm extending my holiday to one more week), this sem will be effin busy and well i just forgotten my words back at home... and still thinking this would be the last post for this year, i gather my might and keep on typing anything that crosses my mind...

okeh, first of all.. holiday like ussual was great.. having a good and bad time with my family back at home... perhaps i write about it later.. for Christmas, well i didn't celebrate it though due to my very high fever that day and make me realize how important health is... yea, been drinking a bit and exposure to the fluctuation of temperature which my body cannot accept contribute to my ill being for 5 days...

anyone interested the outcome of the mission?? no?? well, guess that i shouldn't write about it either.. but anyway i did the right thing and proud of myself(though i'm extremely anxious before) and now i'm perfectly single (without the feeling of admiring anyone).. hey!! you could have guess by now.. yea,truth is i don't know the outcome too since she didn't give any answer but i take it as a rejection so yeap i'm a rejected stuff... haha.. sounds pity huh?? don't think so, when i gave myself a deep thought i'm not ready in relationship after all.. i feel just normal (yet still finding its hard to forget her).. but the earth still spins and time moves on.. and so must i..

this year has been quite great.. my academic improves, i become more mature (hmm let me think again) and become a better Stanley Jok.. There's only one Stanley Jok in this world and i guess i'm the best that exist for the time being so there's something to be happy about at the end of the day...

i want to write more but class start at 8.00 a.m.. so, guess this is it.. next post will be next year.. sayonara 2008.. memories will remain...

let usher the New Year with a big welcome shall we??!!

Fighting!!

-on a 1 month hiatus...

2008-11-22T12:18:00.001+08:00

i'm rushing now..
just wanna wish you guys happy holiday
have a great time aite..
wish me best of luck for my mission..
papai..

-i'm a Thai...

2008-11-20T06:35:00.005+08:00

they say don't ever judge a book by its cover and a man by its look... and how many are really doing that, raise your knees while standing... none? owh its alright thats mean you normal.. eheh

people are judgemental.. i'd told you before... that's one of our attitude which we learnt by ourselves.. it grows naturally.. and we are good at it... seriously.. i dare to bet with you guys if i put a ring inside a hideous pandan cake cake and gather it with all the cheese, chocolate, vanilla and strawberry cakes, i'm 85% sure (believe me i've done the statistic stuffs.. eheh) that people will prone to choose the other cakes apart from pandan cake ( i don't know why i choose this example n i think since it 7.06 a.m in the morning and i haven't sleep yet, that's the best i can come up with).. in the end they don't get the beautiful lagi expensive ring.. seriously rugi.. (actually if me pun, i'll go for cheese and chocolate first frankly, i won't even glimpse at Pandan cake.. hua2)

ever go to a shopping complex and wearing Tat Sing slipers or selepar jamban kta org srawak and then your outfit is pretty much like a person who don't know the meaning of the word fashion literally... i know its so not appropriate to wear such apparels to such places but me and my friends done that.. (yeah i'm that laid back you see).. hence, when you enter a shop, at first the the shop attendance want to greet and all of sudden once they look at your attire they were like 'ohh this bunch of people will not buying anyway, just want to waste their time window shopping'... yeah,like that.. and its all because of your appearances... but its fine with me.. i never like people to follow me when i'm browsing through their stuffs anyway...

just now, i went to a shop to buy earphone and the owner started to greet me in Chinese and i told him i don't know how to speak Chinese.. then, he was like owhh ok, start promoting the stuffs in BM.. and then when i went to the counter, he talked to his friends which i believe about me coz they were looking at me at that time... ohh how i hate it whenever people talk in front of me in a language that i don't understand.. he opened the earphone box and asked me to try it.. for Heaven's sake.. my hp is not that canggih ok, it was for my laptop..

so i was like ok i just put it in my ears and tried it to feel whether it is comfortable or not and quickly said i just take it.. what suprised me was later when i paid for the item, he just put it all inside the plastic.. i mean he didn't properly insert the earphone inside its box again.. is that the way people treat customers nowadays coz you see i'm a bit conservative... in my head, i was thinking that they must be thinking i'm an outsider that came from Thai or Myanmar.. thats why the treatment was different...

talking about Myanmar, when i was in my first year, a taxi driver once shouted me "Oii!! nak teksi ke?" and me and my friend were a bit startled by the taxi driver manner.. once we introduced ourselves and told that we came from Sarawak, and he said "Ohh org Malaysia juga la ni, sori la pak cik jerit oii tdi sebab ingatkan kamu orang Myanmar"... aigoo, pak cik Myanmarnese or not, still its not good la to greet people like that.. Malaysia kan truly Asia, very proud of its courtesy culture kan, so don't la treat people with bias.. coz at the end of the day they are going to pay you also what..

few days back i was being asked by some people 'owh adik pakai subang ye' and i just said ehmm.. i wonder whats on their mind that time.. you see people got this tendency to think that guys wearing earing are bad asses or even worse a GAY... duh.. but i like it.. the reason why sometimes i'm behaving oddly, dresses unappropriately, or sometimes looks rebellious and etc is that i like to see how they look at me or in a blunt term judge me... if they just see me like that and start to made an early label without knowing me better, well i believe that person cannot accept me as the way i am as an individual later...

i want to live my life just the way i want it to be... well, of course i know my limits la.. well, what i'm trying to say here is that just be who you are and not living a life according to people expectations.. i believe everyone is distinctively unique individual who has qualities of their own.. if you like to eat, just eat.. don't stop eating because you afraid people might see you as a big mouth... if you want to dress sloppily, so be it.. its your own fashion.. don't give a damn to what others will comment...its your style dude...

darn.. i don't particularly know what i'm mumbling about in this early morning... i don't even sure my pharagraphs are related to one another or not.. i'm dizzy coz i havent't sleep like for the past 19 hours... haha.. and later will wake up late probably after 2 -3 p.m.. well, one thing for sure i don't care if my roomate think me as a lazy hippopatomus (did i get the spelling correct, duh i'm not entering spelling bee competition anyway) well, this is simply because thats my uniqueness.. haha...

Good morning people!! Rise and shine for you and sweet dreams for me.. Au revoir!!!

-YIPPPIIIII!!!

2008-11-17T19:32:00.003+08:00

MY FINAL EXAM IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

-is your life your choice?

2008-11-15T03:46:00.007+08:00

ever waking up one day, to be on the other side of the bed,

and feels that it is not right, because it is wrong...

ever feel of leading a wrong life,

walking on a false path,

where once upon a time

a different path might lead us to a sunny day,

or even to hell on earth...

we tend to follow the norm of the society,

where everything is based on facts and figures,

little room to be deviant, even less to become an individual,

where too many rules to be followed and obeyed,

and create small chances for the idealist,

to go against the flow,

will make one a public stigma...

did we ever listen to the little voice of our heart,

or are our future predetermined by the current circumstances,

we follow and walk and walk through it,

to a promising place which has been foretold...

where are our instincts at time like this,

or is it because we so use to ignore it,

and become indecisive with the choices that lay in front us,

where every choices brings different possibilities,

do we take what will satisfy our passions and dreams,

or do we take the one that guarantees a rewarding future,

or perhaps it would be our lucky day,

being able to fulfill both, if only...

because sometimes an uncertain path,

guided by the voice of our heart,

might surprise us with it's adventure,

to stumble and fall in the deepest hole,

to fly and soar across the sky,

for that is life,

full it's magical wonders...

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

footnotes: for a while I've been thinking about myself and my life... are both of it in synergy with each other... i wonder...

-i'm a sloth...

2008-11-14T20:13:00.004+08:00

here i am, being lazy in my room and laying on my bed since like this afternoon till now ( its quater past 8 already)... the paper this morning was not tough and yet i'm angry with myself for the habit of not able to complete it on time, same problem like previous paper.. some word of advice, if you're slow writer and a meticulous calculater, do culculating stuff last... yeap..

and now i feel a bit homesick... well, of course its due to the factor that exam week is drawing to its end, yay i got one more paper left... and the problem is that i always begin to feel a bit lazy for the last paper coz the anxiety of finishing it surpasses the feeling to study it.. darn... and then i'll begin to grumble of not doing well in it after the paper.. typical me.. haha..

i miss of having someone to talk with.. well, my roomates don't talk much.. everybody is busy with their own respective activity... its not only during exam week i tell you, its been like this the whole sem.. and i'm used to it now... the talkative me has assimilate with my nature of surrounding.. haha.. we do talk a bit, ya a bit but regarding formal matters like "hey, they are doing fogging now.. should we go out?" and etc.. none heart to heart talk yet,i mean talking about life, family and friends...i don't know is it me or them are introvert... well, i digress...

high school and maticulation dorms are the best...it so lively and hardly could be bored.. well, for sure the reason was i had my gang around... playing stupid games, laughing out loud, talking nonsense stuffs with my fellow sot buddies like burry and sedeq... the laugh is rather different with one you are so comfortable with and the one you eermm well you know like new people... hey, but not that here, i'm laughing insencerely..i enjoy myself too here but it just that being with the one you grew up with for like the past 6 years, you have that very strong bonding like covalent bonding for polar molecules.. gaga... hope i'll be able to catch up with you guys this holiday ya mates...

aiyak!! writer's block.. k chiaow..

anyway, carpe diem people!!!

-Happy S.A.D Day!!!

2008-11-11T18:22:00.002+08:00

well, its not that sad of course.. it's Single Awareness Day.. gaga.. well, yeah i'm celebrating it again this year.. for the ** time in my life... hehe.. i almost forgot about today well someone wish me just now and that remind me that ermm, well i'm still single.. heh2...

if you guys want to know about the origin, you can read my previous post...

being single is still good (well, of course that's what all singleton will say)... it just that for me,I've been wondering (the effect of having a critical thinking) till when will i be like this (till this coming holiday i hope :p)... in retrospect, i'd missed a lot of chances that can be done together with someone that i love during my youth day... (ehem not that i'm feeling very old now, it just that things you do in twenties and teen years somehow have different feelings is it not??) you know the kind of innocent events that could make you giggles when you are old... heh2...

looking at the bright side (yeap here goes another words to sooth myself huhu), i believe that being single teaches us to appreciate someone more once we are in love... i mean, hey the presence of someone after the long years of you being a lonely ranger sure gives a big impact to you right?? if we're seriously into it of course... whilst some people will still appreciate their freedom more and committed to other things...

anyway, its not the time for me to perplex about this... i got paper tomorrow morning and ya, its kinda a killer paper... better i worry about that kan.. fyi, i studied the wrong subject last night coz i thought its tomorrow paper, and it turns out to be the other paper.. darn..

before i forgot, hmm, Happy Single Awareness Day to all singleton out there (including my wisher just now) and being single is still good aite.. heh2.. cherish your life in whatever situation be it single or couple, as long as you know how to spark it,your life will be great... perhaps you can celebrate it like what my wisher and her girlfriends doing now.. heh2..

-on beauty...

2008-11-07T22:37:00.009+08:00

picture taken from thestar.com.my

i'm not being a pervert aa.. just want to blog about girls today haha.. above is the picture of Soo Wincci, Miss Malaysia World 2008... she will be representing Malaysia to compete with other beauties from other countries at South Africa for the title of Miss World 2008... well, what can i say, she's undeniably beautiful... i like her picture with less make up.. in fact i like girl who don't wear thick make up... seems much more natural and pretty.. hehe..

the reason why i'm ranting about this today is i have some thought that crosses my mind... why there are never representative for Miss World or Miss Universe who come from Borneo.. (i don't know la if there was one before but as far as i'm concern i know none)... coz i believe there are many beauties at my place (adoh kembang idong miak sabah/srawak maca tok).. don't believe me ka?? u go la to Sarawak or Sabah and see the girls there.. many have this ethnic beauty bah.. nowadays more are mix blooded already... i'm sure for guys fall head over heels once you see them..

at Sarawak, u go and try to find Orang Ulu girls...many of my cousins are pretty what?? huhu.. of course la i'll be praising my own people if not who else la kan.. other races like the Iban, Bidayuh, Sarawak Malay, Melanau and many more also have their own distinctive beauty... at Sabah, when i went there during matriculation, many had caught my eyes too.. hehe.. not that i'm gatal2 to look at girl, just that boys do what boys should do what hehe.. furthermore i'm still single fyi at that time (now too huhu).. they have this type of eyes which can differentiate them from Sarawakian...

well i'm the kind of guy who likes girls with ethnic and sultry faces (thats why i like Adriana Lima) and one more thing, with a black hair too (i'm not a big fan of blond girls exception for Blake Lively).. hehe.. we have Kumang Gawai every year and also Miss Fair and Lovely ka if i'm not mistaken, why don't you girls try your luck at Miss Malaysia.. it will be my pride if for once there's a Miss World representative from Sarawak.. seriously.. coz i'm patriotic to our state (erkk lame reason.. huhu)

maybe not many are exposed to this kind of stuff kot.. its not our culture.. erkk wait a minute, if its not our culture, why do have Kumang Gawai or Unduk Ngadau then.. our people do appreciate beauty what... so, the more reason there is not to do it halfway, try to achieve the highest level you can (well yaa.. coz you must be proactive bah).. hmm maybe our girls are shy2 one kot to be on world level (is it?? heh2)..

regardless of whatever the reason is, i'm hoping there will be at least one representative of my homeland to go to the international level (patriotic siot).. so this post is dedicated to future beauty peagent of Borneo.. any state will do.. below are among bornean beauties from Sabah and Sarawak respectively..

picture taken from worldrec.info via google
Daphne Iking
a Kadazan Dusun
winner of state level Unduk Ngadau 2003

picture taken from putera.com via google
Hannah Tan
a Kelabit Chinese
2002 Miss Global Petite World Finals in Montreal where she won Second Runner Up
(she make it big)

guess thats about it... good day people... one message, beauty is not only about outer appearance but also skin deep.. remember that.. =)

p/s: one more thing, of course the girl that i like is a prove of bornean beauty too... ;p

The puzzle of my life, is yet to complete...

sa teda duit mo kawen...

testing testing...

-reminders...

-Marriage.

-at the moment..

-progress report.. ahah..

-so, its going start soon...

-A long break indeed.

-private emotion...

-you

Percy Sledge - When A Man Loves A Woman

-small treasure...

-scooby scooby doo!

-into Your hand, i commit again...

-happy saturday...

"nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands"

-23 years old friend of mine..

-Valentine's Day...

-Tattoos...

-EIMT 2010...

-Sawadeekap...

-vurnerable

-i got one paper left and i'm happy about it...

-WTH!! land for dams and oil palm? how about the people??

Borneo natives in stand-off with oil-palm giant

By STEPHEN THEN

-a mother's love....

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-in the spirit of unity, shall we?

-Aaahh i seriously forgot!!!!

-sigh~

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-sometimes....

-a reminder...

=)

-rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju!!!!

-kucing hitam itu comel juga...

-design oo design...

-things i try to comprehend...

-c'est la vie!!!

-Abau's story...

-looking for the right person?

-few reasons...

-in my so called rich state...

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-my secret place

-H1N1 Parody...

-Corinthians 13-

-you're so beautiful...

-in a week...

-void...

--silly thoughts....

-21 Guns...

-Secret...

-Hari Bapak...

-u r way so beautiful for me girl... (girls)

-old McDonal had a farm... e i e i o....

-no no no, i'm not d***k...

-IN RUSH!

-the letter...

-a break during the battle...

-So it begin...

-True colours...

-Good Friday...

-American Idol....

-of works and events...

-it's starting again..

-for the best people on earth...

-CUS Dinner '09...

-hang on there you...

-hah!

-the tragedy of a broken ivory....

-it's raining outside...

-so called writer's block...

-I really want to...

-of strength...

-of kane and able...